Gifts

One Thousand Gifts Devotional by Ann VoskampOn December 23, I was in Value Village when I remembered I needed to buy one last Christmas gift. I perused the books in the Religion and Spirituality section and came across two pristine copies of Ann Voskamp’s devotional, One Thousand Gifts.  It’s based on the story of how Voskamp recognized God’s grace in her daily life and discovered the power of gratitude. It’d be perfect for my friend. I didn’t know what I would do with the second copy, but I bought them both.

The next day another friend called belatedly to accept my offer to come for Christmas dinner. I could give the second book to her. God knew what I needed, I thought, without fully realizing how unusual the find was. Since then, I have been to a number of thrift stores and have not seen many books I wanted to buy for myself, let alone give as gifts.

I felt grateful for God’s attentiveness to our needs and humbled by it too. After all, I want God to look after my needs, but I don’t like giving up control of when or how those needs are met.

But as I struggle to let go of control, God continues to give: food and health, good work and rest, sunsets and beginnings, a kind word, a loving embrace, a rescue in the nick of time. Sometimes the gift is being able to look back on a difficult time and see how it has become a blessing. God loves taking care of us. The question is: will I let go and let God do it?

A Daisy Day in May by Brent M

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best
for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and
the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”
Matthew 6:30-33 (The Message)

Credits:
One Thousand Gifts Devotional by Ann Voskamp, 2012. Photo by Dayspring.
“A Daisy Day in May” by Brent M. Used with permission.
Banner: “Floral Themed Gift Wrap” by Josh. Used with permission
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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Fire!

Dec 29 fire by bcfiretrucks“There’s a fire. A woman’s screaming for help,” my husband said and ran out the door.

I followed Fred across the lawn to the townhouse building next to ours. Smoke billowed out the front door of an upstairs unit. Someone was calling 911 while others stood frozen.

A man and woman stayed near the burning building; they looked terrified. “Is anyone still in there?” Fred asked them. When they didn’t answer, he put both hands on the man’s shoulders and used his policeman’s voice to ask the question again.

“My son,” he answered.

“The fire’s too big. We can’t get in,” a neighbour said.

Fred went around the building to where the bedroom windows were and heard screaming from inside. “Get the big ladder,” Fred told Michael, the resident caretaker.

“It’s locked and I don’t have the key.”

Fred took me aside. “Pray,” he said, “and go guide the fire truck in.”

A few minutes later the fire truck arrived. “A boy’s still in there,” I hollered. “Bring a ladder.”

Before the firefighters got to the house, the boy was brought to them. His face was blackened and wet with tears. “He’s breathing,” someone said.

I found Fred not far away.  “What happened?” I asked.

“I got him out,” Fred replied. I hugged and hugged him.

The firefighters gathered their equipment. I could see flames now and more smoke poured out of the building.

“Let’s go home,” Fred said. “You don’t want to breathe in this stuff.”

Fire 3 bc firetruck

A while later a policeman knocked on our door. He wanted to investigate what happened. After getting the details, he offered Fred medical assistance. “I’m fine,” Fred said.

“Your neighbours are calling you a hero,” the R.C.M.P. officer said.

Fred shrugged it off. “I used to be a member. I’ve been in situations like this before.”

Later that evening, two firemen also came to the door and so did the neighbour who tried three times to get through the fire to the boy. They all thanked Fred for what he did.

“I heard Demetri cry out from his room and I had to do something,” Fred told me when we were alone. Tears clouded his eyes. “No one knew what to do, so I took charge. I told Michael to get bolt cutters. We got the ladder and I went up it not knowing what I would find. I took the screen off the window and saw an orange glow and the room filled with smoke. Demetri was on his bed whimpering. He came to me as soon as I called him. He took my arm and I carried him down.”

The emergency vehicles left sometime after midnight. “My hero,” I said to the man who is rarely in the limelight.

The next morning I asked Fred how he slept.

“Not great. I kept having flashbacks of fires I attended when I was working for the R.C.M.P.,” he said. “It opened up boxes I haven’t looked in for a long time.”

“What did you remember?”

He told me about the times people died. He described horrific sights and smells.  I heard the anguish that had been locked away for decades.

And so did God. God knew how badly Fred had wanted to help those people. Finally he was given the opportunity to save someone’s child.

 In Jesus 3

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. – Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

 

 

 

Credits:
Photos of “Child Rescued from Townhouse Fire in Burnaby (Dec 29, 2014)” by bcfiretrucks. Used with permission.
The statue was carved for Father Thomas Green, SJ (1932-2009) by Joe Crawford, December 1988.  Steve Imbach writes, “We visited Father Tom in the Philippines and when our visit with him was over he told us to take it home; it was ours.  It now sits in the room I offer direction in.”
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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Uninvited Guests

Jan Cornelisz Vermeyen--The calling of St John during the marriage at Cana.1530On Christmas we entertained family and friends for most of the day. We enjoyed every guest that came. But visitors are not always easy to have around. They may come late, stay too long, or forget what they promised to bring. Inevitably someone will do something that unsettles another.

Our feelings are like guests. Some are more enjoyable than others. Yet Rumi invites us to welcome them all. Why? Because we can encounter God in them.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

 – Jelaluddin Rumi
(translation by Coleman Barks)

Credits:
The calling of St John during the marriage at Cana. 1530 by Jan Cornelisz Vermeyen
“The Guest House” in The Essential Rumi by Rumi translated by Coleman Barks. Used with permission.
Banner: “Winter in Merstham Feb 2012” by Berit Watkin. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2014.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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The Word Became Flesh

Emmanuel

when Jesus came
he didn’t sneak in
through the back door
of poverty selling
magic tricks for
applause

no

Jesus came poor
entered every day
of every life
and never
left

nativity by violscraper

The Word became flesh and blood,
    and moved into the neighbourhood.
We saw the glory with our own eyes,
    the one-of-a-kind glory,
    like Father, like Son,
Generous inside and out,
    true from start to finish.
-John 1:14 (The Message)

Credits:
“Emmanuel” by Esther Hizsa © 2014
“Nativity”  by violscraper Used with permission.
“Star Walkers” by Paul Kline. (Banner not visible on home page) Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2014.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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Encountering God in Our Emotions

The Christmas season tends to evoke a range of emotion in us. While we express tidings of comfort and joy, we may feel anything but comforted or joyful. It’s good to pay attention to those unsettling feelings and listen to what they are saying.

“Why would I want to do that?” you may ask. “Won’t that get me into trouble or make me feel worse?”

factfaithfeeling

Perhaps you recall this train from Campus Crusade’s Four Spiritual Laws. Fact is the engine, Faith is the coal car; and Feeling, the caboose. The point of the illustration is that Christians need to rely on the truth of God’s word to guide them no matter what they are feeling. “The train will run with or without a caboose,” the booklet explains.

This is helpful advice for new believers who experience emotions that can derail their unseasoned faith. But as we mature, we need to take another look at the feeling caboose. We still don’t want it driving the train, but we have to stop uncoupling it from our lives. Our feelings, even the unpleasant ones, are holy ground. We can encounter God in them.

To do that, we must first become aware of God’s presence. St.Theophan the Recluse, a nineteenth century Russian Orthodox priest, said, “To pray is to descend with the mind into the heart and there to stand before the face of the Lord, ever-present, all-seeing, within you.” So begin there. With your mind, imagine yourself meeting Christ in the core of your being. Stand before him. Look at him looking at you with love.

In his loving presence, tell Jesus about the event that incited the strong feeling you experience. It may help to picture the emotion as an angry cat, hair-raised and pacing. Now name the feeling. For example, it could be jealousy or loneliness. Don’t judge it or analyze it. Just let it hiss and meow there with you and Jesus. When there is a bit of space between you and your feeling, ask it what it wants to tell you. You may hear something like “I feel invisible when other people get the attention I crave” or “There’s something wrong with me; that’s why I’m alone.”

Watch how Jesus responds when he hears what your feelings say. Notice his compassion. What does he do and say next? Underneath your words is a longing Jesus wants to fill.

Once you’ve been with Jesus there, you’ll find your feisty feeling curled up in your lap, as harmless as a kitten. And you, having encountered the living God, will be transformed.

Cat by Kevin Dooley

 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
       – Psalm 139: 7,8 (NIV)

References and credits:
First quote from Four Spiritual Laws by Campus Crusade
Second quote from Sanctuary of the Soul: Journey into Meditative Prayer by Richard J. Foster (pg 35).
“Cat” by Kevin Dooley. Used with permission.
“Angry Pflümli” by Tambako the Jaguar  (banner not visible on home page). Used with permission.
Thanks to Jeff Imbach who taught me this in Living from the Heart.  
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2014.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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Christ In Me, With Me, For Me

This Advent God’s been inviting me to live in the reality that Christ is in me, with me, and for me. I noticed, when I undertook a task or wrote a post, that I was not alone. I felt accompanied as I found the wisdom or words needed.

Recognizing God’s presence in those simple activities ignited a flicker of joy in my chest. That joy made me stop and breathe in that moment of awareness: I am in Christ, and he is in me.

As I did, I recalled the image of myself as a leaky bucket in the ocean of God’s love and remembered: all I long for I already have.

The part of me which focuses on my cracks reacted to that thought. I could provide a list of things I long for but don’t have–not possessions per se but virtues. I wish I wasn’t so self-preoccupied, for example.

But the part of me that sees God’s ocean of love welcomed that thought. Knowing my imperfections are bathed in love gave me hope. I am being transformed.

In Presence and Encounter, David G. Benner says we often don’t recognize that we are in Christ and he is in us, because we lack awareness. Awareness “creates space and openness that allow us to be present to more than our usual self-preoccupations.”

“Hallelujah!” my heart cried out when I read that. God’s gift of awareness is quieting the self-serving chatter in my head and freeing me to be more present to what’s before me.

No wonder I’m being led away from a busy life. God is slowing me down to make the turn onto a new road in my pilgrimage where Christ reveals that every moment is eternal and every place ground holy.

Stillness by Christian.Rudman


Holy Ground

Words by Woody Guthrie, 1954, Music by Frank London (The Klezmatics), 2003

Take off, take off your shoes
This place you’re standing, it’s holy ground
Take off, take off your shoes
The spot you’re standing, its holy ground

These words I heard in my burning bush
This place you’re standing, it’s holy ground
I heard my fiery voice speak to me
This spot you’re standing, it’s holy ground

That spot is holy, holy ground
That place you stand it’s holy ground
This place you tread, it’s holy ground
God made this place his holy ground

Take off your shoes and pray
This ground you walk it’s holy ground
Take off your shoes and pray
The ground you walk it’s holy ground

Every spot on earth I traipse around
Every spot I walk it’s holy ground
Every spot on earth I traipse around
Every spot I walk it’s holy ground

Every spot it’s holy ground
Every little inch it’s holy ground
Every grain of dirt it’s holy ground
Every spot I walk it’s holy ground

 © Copyright Woody Guthrie Publications, Inc.

Credits and references:
Presence and Encounter: The Sacramental Possibilities of Everyday Life by David G. Benner, PhD, 2014, (p. 34).
“Stillness” by Christian.Rudman. Used with permission.
“Holy Ground” by the Klezmatics, Wonder Wheel, 2006.
Banner (not visible on home page)  L’océan à Langland by Marie. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2014.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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A Wondrous Thought

Pietro-Annigoni-Cristina-IAfter the angel Gabriel’s visit, Mary woke to a new reality.

The pondering of her heart emerged on her lips as she washed the dishes and passed by the beggars on her way to fetch more water.

My soul glorifies the Lord,” she sang to herself. “He has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me.” The Saviour is in me! What a wondrous thought.

But weeks passed and nothing changed. Mary began to wonder if it had all been a dream, until one morning a wave of nausea propelled her out of bed just in time. She threw up in the garden, then leaned against the clay brick wall wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as perspiration cooled her brow.

It happened the next day, and the next. Mary hadn’t dreamt it; she was pregnant with God’s Son. That first Advent Mary wasn’t waiting for Christ to come. He was already there, her growing belly a testimony.

In our Advent we, like Israel, cry, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget us forever? How long will you hide your face from us?” We keep looking for God to come in power and fill the hungry with good things. Meanwhile, the Holy Spirit has already overshadowed us, seeding Christ in us.

And now it is God who is waiting for us. God waits for us to awaken to a new reality, a wondrous thought that Christ is in us, with us, and for us.

We are being filled full of God.

 Gaylon Keeling Contemplation...Keeping Watch by Hafiz

In the morning
When I began to wake,
It happened again–

That feeling
That You, Beloved,
Had stood over me all night
Keeping watch,

That feeling
That as soon as I began to stir
You put Your lips on my forehead
And lit a Holy Lamp
Inside my Heart.

Credits and references:
“Cristina I” by Pietro Annigoni, 1910-1988.
“Contemplation… ” by Gaylon Keeling. Used with permission.
“Advent” by Christopher Bulle. Used with permission.
“Keeping Watch” is in I Heard God Laughing: Poems of Hope and Joy by Hafiz (Author), Daniel Ladinsky (Translator). Used with permission.
Psalm 13:1; Luke 1: 26-38, 43, 48,49,53 (NIV), Ephesians 3:19
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2014.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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Waiting

adventWhat if the one you are waiting for never comes?

It was only choir practice on a Thursday night at the little United Church a mile away. My friend Edith and I were thirteen years old and proud to be the youngest members. Every week, at seven forty-five, after one of the farmers and his wife who also attended our church had milked their cows and changed their clothes, they would pull into our driveway to give me a ride.

That winter evening, at seven-forty, I got ready and waited in the kitchen. Ten minutes later I was overheating and took off my toque and mitts. Five minutes after that, I needed to go to the bathroom but didn’t dare leave my post. We would be late now, and they’d be in a hurry when they arrived.

At eight o’clock a car drove by in the opposite direction. I watched the red tail lights disappear down the gravel road.

At eight-fifteen I took off my coat and boots and headed upstairs to my room.

“I thought you were going to the church,” my dad said.

“My ride didn’t come,” I replied. “I guess they forgot about me.”

I must not be that important, I thought and added that thought to all the other evidence I had collected that proved I didn’t matter.

For years after that Thursday night, waiting for anyone made me nervous. Finally, I learned to have a backup plan, even if it was only telling myself it wouldn’t be the end of me if they didn’t come.

This Sunday Advent begins. It’s a whole season of waiting, and I am thrilled. I am thrilled because I know the One I am waiting for will come. He always does.

For hundreds of years, Israel waited for their Messiah. Finally, he came. The angel Gabriel announced the good news to a young virgin named Mary. She became pregnant by the Holy Spirit and gave birth to the Saviour of the world in Bethlehem, just as the prophets said.

Jesus came to earth because we matter. His Spirit remains with us now because we always will.

the-nativity-by-gerard-van-honthorst1

The people walking in darkness
    have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
    a light has dawned…
For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
           – Isaiah 9:2,6

Credits:
“Advent” by Christopher Bulle. Used with permission.
“The Nativity” by Gerrit van Honthorst, 1592–1656
“Riding into the Sunset” by Wes Peck (not visible on home page). Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2014.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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On This Mountain

Last week I talked about deadlines closing in on me. One of them was SoulStream’s Living from the Heart course. It would be my first time co-facilitating a six-day intensive in spiritual formation, and I wanted to prepare well for it. Shortly before I left to go on the course, which was held on Sumas Mountain near Abbotsford, I happened to read these verses:

Transfiguration_by_Feofan_Grek_from_Spaso-Preobrazhensky_Cathedral_in_Pereslavl-Zalessky_(15th_c,_Tretyakov_gallery) On this mountain the Lord Almighty will prepare
    a feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
    the best of meats and the finest of wines.
 On this mountain he will destroy
    the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;
     he will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears
    from all faces;
he will remove his people’s disgrace
    from all the earth.
The Lord has spoken.

 In that day they will say,
“Surely this is our God;

    we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the Lord, we trusted in him;

    let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”
         -Isaiah 25:6-9 (NIV)

As I read about the feast and fine wines that would be enjoyed on “this mountain”, I sensed God elbowing me in the ribs and winking at me. We were going to be on a mountain where Peggy and Pat, the hosts of Twin Creeks Lodge, would serve up a feast at every meal. There would be good wine, too, at our midweek Sabbath celebration. God seemed to be saying that, during our intensive, the Holy Spirit would wipe away tears, remove shame and swallow up death. On “this mountain” we would be glad we trusted God.

And we were.

I was one of three facilitators that led the participants in prayers, teachings and activities. Yet we were often aware of a fourth: the Holy Spirit. During a silent pause, the wind rustled the leaves right on cue. Words in our prayers, chosen weeks before, matched our experience in ways we hadn’t anticipated. Bravery was given, honest words spoken, bruised reeds protected, and smouldering wicks shielded. With unveiled faces we beheld God’s glory as we listened to our lives and listened again to God speaking in them. Each person that came to the mountain was transformed in one way or another.

So, what does this mean for you who weren’t there? What does God want you to hear?

One word: Go.

Go meet God. Listen to your heart’s yearning. Fan the embers that burn with love. Feast at God’s table; a place has been set for you. Go, weary pilgrim. Just go.

an open gate by Rachel Hartland

My spirit soared when a Voice 
spoke to me:
“Come, come to the Heart of Love!”
How long I have stood within the house of fear
yearning to enter the gates of Love!
Psalm 122: 1,2
 from Psalms For Praying: An Invitation to Wholeness  by Nan C. Merrill

Credits and references:
Transfiguration by Theophanes the Greek, 15th century.
An Open Gate (Askrigg, Yorkshire Dales) by Rachel Hartland. Used with permission.
“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out.” Isaiah 42:3 (NIV)
“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV)
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2014.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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God Present, as Promised

During a restless night, I felt like the Israelites again. All the things I have to do were advancing toward me with their sharp spears, while my heels backed into the Red Sea. The cold reality of deadlines lapped at my ankles.

Help God, I prayed again. Remember your promise to be with me.

Rushing water Simon VarwellI longed to be settled to sleep, but more worries came out of hiding.

Sometime in the night, I remembered what a friend said.  “I just want to go with God’s flow. Not forcing it, not holding back.” Her words, inspired by a poem by Rilke, reminded me that I don’t have to make anything happen. God is present, as promised, and flowing in me like a river. When I feel myself pushing to make something work, I don’t need to push harder. I need to let go and relax back into the flow.

Now in the morning, I find the poem my friend quoted and let it speak to my soul.

I believe in all that has never yet been spoken.
I want to free what waits within me
so that what no one has dared to wish for
may for once spring clear
without my contriving.

If this is arrogant, God, forgive me,
but this is what I need to say.
May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children.

Then in these swelling and ebbing currents,
these deepening tides moving out, returning,
I will sing you as no one ever has,
streaming through widening channels
into the open sea.

            — Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God
                   (Translated by Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy)

I am drawn to the image of singing–not fretting, not panicking, but singing–in the swelling and ebbing currents and deepening tides.

As I sit in an eddy of God’s presence, I feel anxiety ebb and hope begin to swell.  I am being drawn into a current of faith: God loves me. God is here. God will act.

Tofino, untouched by Tony Horabin

 

Credits:
“Rushing Waters” by Simon Varwell. Used with permission.
“Tofino, untouched” by Tony Horabin. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2014.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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