The Voice of Love Loving

I woke in the night feeling condemned for overeating. A voice kept at me, relentlessly inflicting guilt and shame. It blamed me for using my addiction to food as an excuse to sin. It called me a hypocrite. I repented and vowed to change my ways. But when morning came, I shoved the negative messages aside and got on with my day.

That evening I went to our contemplative group. I don’t remember the topic of our reflection, but I do know that the convicting episode I experienced the night before wasn’t even on my radar. Yet as soon as we entered into silent prayer, the memory returned. When it did, I heard God say, That voice wasn’t mine. Relief brought tears to my eyes.

Jesus Wept by Daniel Bonnell

A few days later, at a lecture about Ignatian prayer, Father Richard Soo explained how to discern God’s voice. He said, “When the enemy convicts me of sin, I feel bad about myself; when God convicts me of sin I feel loved.”

I let that sink in: when God convicts me of sin, I feel loved.

Sure God wants to release me from my compulsion to overeat but, thankfully, God doesn’t have to shame me into it. David Fleming, SJ refers to God as Love loving. I wonder what Love loving has to say about my overeating? I would listen to that voice.

Let me not run from the love which You offer.
– Soul of Christ prayer (Anima Christi)

paraphrased by David L. Fleming


References and Credits:
“God Is Love Loving” pg 7 in What Is Ignatian Spirituality? by David L. Fleming, SJ
“Soul of Christ prayer” pg 4 in Lessons from Ignatius Loyola by David L. Fleming, SJ
Jesus Wept by Daniel Bonnell.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2014.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014


About Esther Hizsa

Esther is a spiritual director and writer. She lives in Burnaby with her husband, Fred, and they have two grown children and two grandchildren.
This entry was posted in Ignatian Spirituality, Overeating, Stories and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Voice of Love Loving

  1. Pingback: Love Speaks to Me About Food | An Everyday Pilgrim

  2. Pingback: That Sweet Moon Language | An Everyday Pilgrim

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.