Author Archives: Esther Hizsa

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About Esther Hizsa

Esther is a writer, spiritual director, and cofacilitates contemplative retreats and courses. She lives in Vernon, B.C. with her husband, Fred.

A Contemplative in the Kitchen

I forget that I’m sort of on the autism spectrumuntil I walk into a room full of activity with a job to do,and I’m overwhelmed. It’s my turn to make dinner:pizza and salad for twenty family members in a foreign … Continue reading

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Unfailing Love

We gathered and celebrated,blessed the Earth with Mom’s ashes, blessed each other with who she waswoven in our words, (“Okay”, “Oh, come on!” and “Oh well”)baked in the bread, the Tia Maria squares, the Linzer Torte,savoured in the Pinot,grateful for … Continue reading

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The Tree Speaks

Fir trees bear green branches year-round. But take a look, and you’ll notice some dead limbs. One tree, nestled in community, is only green near the top with clusters of vibrant new growth lower down where sunlight found them. The … Continue reading

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Maybe It’s Enough

Father James Martin asks, “What happens when you pray?”Cardinal Timothy Radcliffe, O.P. replies, “I wish I knew.“—The Spiritual Life Podcast You’re here, all the time. everywhere– in birdsong and silence, budding leaves and dead branches, a fist pump from a … Continue reading

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Finding Us

What did I hear in that note that stunned me and sent me into the sock drawer, consumed with anger and hate?   I heard: You are not enough, just as I had begun to skip along trusting that I was.  As I walked with … Continue reading

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Double Dutch

It’s bad enough when awareness comes  in a look or a wondering with space to soften and say farewell to what I thought was real.  But when I’m up to 97, 98, 99, 100 in Double Dutch  and the blunt end raps my knuckles, stuns my … Continue reading

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Realignment

After thirteen days away, (a dozen visits with friends and family, six ferries, one airport, a drive through downtown Vancouver, retreating on Galiano and leading a retreat on Bowen), I looked forward to coming home to home, to my Fred,my kitchen, my … Continue reading

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As If I Wasn’t Dying Inside

I am poured out like water,    and all my bones are out of joint.My heart has turned to wax;    it has melted within me.–Psalm 22:14 (NIV) Jesus, on the cross, poured out like water bones out of joint heart turned to wax, … Continue reading

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A World Filled with Love

He showed me a little thing, the size of a hazelnut, in the palm of my hand, and it was as round as a ball. I looked at it with my mind’s eye and I thought, “What can this be?” … Continue reading

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Awakening

I wake again with the weight of my world on my shoulders. I choose to get up, to do my knee strengthening exercises, to put drops in my aging eyes, to make coffee, and sit in the quiet with You.  Ah, there it is. A constriction in … Continue reading

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