Category Archives: False Self

Astonishing Things Can Happen

Posted on October 22, 2021 by Esther Hizsa

How might this moment be a gift to me, just as it is? I asked in last week’s post. I fingered that question like a smooth stone in my pocket while I put on my jacket and shoes.  “Okay then,” … Continue reading →

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Now I See

Posted on April 16, 2021 by Esther Hizsa

. . . we attribute authority to [our weaknesses] to name who we are, and they don’t because only love has the authority to name who we are. –James Finley, Turning to the Mystics Thomas Merton 4 My weaknesses don’t … Continue reading →

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What Would You Like to Do?

Posted on January 8, 2021 by Esther Hizsa

“I don’t want to be here,” my insides were shouting. For months, I disregarded my feelings and kept doing what I should, what a good Christian would. Then in Advent, God, who hears my thoughts and feels my feelings, asked … Continue reading →

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At the Edge of the Year

Posted on December 31, 2020 by Esther Hizsa

I stand at the edge of a virgin year, hallowed with a light dusting of snow. Skates in hand, I hope the ice is thick enough the surface smooth enough my ankles strong enough to do something beautiful. But I’m … Continue reading →

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The Cave

Posted on February 21, 2020 by Esther Hizsa

Pain. Sharp, deep and relentless. That’s what I feel when I’ve been treated unfairly. I keep wondering why they did that to me? I can imagine that it’s hard for them to admit they made a mistake. If I confronted … Continue reading →

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Activate Your Humility

Posted on January 10, 2020 by Esther Hizsa

“There are so many moments in our yoga practice when we have a chance to be humbled and for it to be a positive experience versus something we’re just trying to blow through. So . . . activate your humility,” … Continue reading →

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Fred Saves the Day

Posted on November 8, 2019 by Esther Hizsa

“I have my passport,” Fred said on Sunday night, “but I can’t find yours.” We were going to Bellingham, Washington the next day to pick up my books and have lunch with friends. We needed our passports to cross the … Continue reading →

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Invited to Love

Posted on August 16, 2019 by Esther Hizsa

This is the fourth post about what happened on my 8-day silent retreat in July. If you haven’t read the previous ones, I encourage you to do that before you read today’s. I pray with Psalm 51 again, trying to … Continue reading →

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God Expands My World

Posted on January 11, 2019 by Esther Hizsa

My world’s gotten small. It happened so subtly, I hardly noticed. But now that I’m aware of it, I can see signs of shrinkage–not caring that I don’t care, taking things personally, being angry about something because of its effect … Continue reading →

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Waking Up

Posted on January 26, 2018 by Esther Hizsa

I want to be fully awake to God. I’d like to live so aware of being in Christ that I rely on nothing other than God for my security or identity. A bird held by a single thread is still not … Continue reading →

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