Category Archives: False Self

Keep Watching

Posted on July 15, 2022 by Esther Hizsa

I lean my head against Love’s chest,match the rhythm of Her breath,and enter the darkness. The light hurts my eyes. I see what others have done thatI haven’t.I notice habits I have thatthey don’t.I watch myself lose myselfdisappearand want a world with … Continue reading →

Posted in compassion, False Self, Poetry, Prayer, Reflections | Tagged blackberries, Ed Dahl, Esther Hizsa, Jessie Wilcox Smith, Krista Tippett, Moonbeams, My Grandmother's Hands, On Being, Resmaa Menakem, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver | 1 Comment

Release, Receive and Return

Posted on May 6, 2022 by Esther Hizsa

For days after I heard how my words wounded another, I was visited with the recurring judgment that I was a bad person, an unsafe person. I was shrouded in shame until God found me through a Lenten reflection on … Continue reading →

Posted in Easter, False Self, Poetry, Reflections, Stories | Tagged Esther Hizsa, Living from the Heart, Nan C. Merrill, Psalm 23:3, Richard Bott, Rivendell Labyrinth, SoulStream, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver | 2 Comments

Astonishing Things Can Happen

Posted on October 22, 2021 by Esther Hizsa

How might this moment be a gift to me, just as it is? I asked in last week’s post. I fingered that question like a smooth stone in my pocket while I put on my jacket and shoes. “Okay then,” … Continue reading →

Posted in community, compassion, False Self, Mindfulness, Poetry, Reflections | Tagged Aftab Uzzaman, Cam Miller, David Whyte, Esther Hizsa, present moment, rest, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver, Winter Bench at the Strip Mall | 3 Comments

Now I See

Posted on April 16, 2021 by Esther Hizsa

. . . we attribute authority to [our weaknesses] to name who we are, and they don’t because only love has the authority to name who we are. –James Finley, Turning to the Mystics Thomas Merton 4 My weaknesses don’t … Continue reading →

Posted in compassion, False Self, Prayer, Reflections | Tagged dark view in trees, Demetri Dourambeis, Esther Hizsa, Isaiah 30:15-18, James Finley, Let there be light, Radical Compassion, Radical Compassion Challenge, Sounds True, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver, Sylvia Sassen, Tara Brach, Thomas Merton, true self, Turning to the Mystics | 4 Comments

What Would You Like to Do?

Posted on January 8, 2021 by Esther Hizsa

“I don’t want to be here,” my insides were shouting. For months, I disregarded my feelings and kept doing what I should, what a good Christian would. Then in Advent, God, who hears my thoughts and feels my feelings, asked … Continue reading →

Posted in community, compassion, False Self, Ignatian Spirituality, Poetry, Prayer, Reflections | Tagged Coleman Barks, 紫流, Dog & Cat, Essential Rumi, Esther Hizsa, Ignatian prayer retreat, Let there be light, quatum bunny, Rumi, Sad_Creature, SoulStream, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver, Sylvia Sassen, The Guest House | 8 Comments

At the Edge of the Year

Posted on December 31, 2020 by Esther Hizsa

I stand at the edge of a virgin year, hallowed with a light dusting of snow. Skates in hand, I hope the ice is thick enough the surface smooth enough my ankles strong enough to do something beautiful. But I’m … Continue reading →

Posted in False Self, Poetry, Reflections, Writing | Tagged Benson Kua, David Ward, Esther Hizsa, Fred Hizsa, Frozen Lake, ice skates, John Knox Christian School, New Year, patient trust, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver, Tony Webster, trust the slow work of God, Wendy Pertulla | 10 Comments

The Cave

Posted on February 21, 2020 by Esther Hizsa

Pain. Sharp, deep and relentless. That’s what I feel when I’ve been treated unfairly. I keep wondering why they did that to me? I can imagine that it’s hard for them to admit they made a mistake. If I confronted … Continue reading →

Posted in compassion, False Self, Poverty of Spirit, Reflections, Spiritual Direction | Tagged Ben Sutherland, Cynthia Bourgeault, Esther Hizsa, forgiveness, Hurt, Josefina de Vasconcellos, Pema Chodron, PierreKarl Schnyder, reconciliation, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver, Tonglen, William Paul Young | 2 Comments

Activate Your Humility

Posted on January 10, 2020 by Esther Hizsa

“There are so many moments in our yoga practice when we have a chance to be humbled and for it to be a positive experience versus something we’re just trying to blow through. So . . . activate your humility,” … Continue reading →

Posted in False Self, Reflections | Tagged Activate, Adriene, Audrey Hoehn, Brent Unrau, Esther Hizsa, Fast Casual, Flood Tide, humility, Job 33:4, plastic straw ban, Soften, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver, St. Augustine, styrofoam ban, SwaloPhoto, Todd Dailey, Yoga gir;l, Yoga with Adriene | 2 Comments

Fred Saves the Day

Posted on November 8, 2019 by Esther Hizsa

“I have my passport,” Fred said on Sunday night, “but I can’t find yours.” We were going to Bellingham, Washington the next day to pick up my books and have lunch with friends. We needed our passports to cross the … Continue reading →

Posted in compassion, False Self, Poverty of Spirit, Reflections, Seed Cracked Open, Stories | Tagged Anthony de Mello, Esther Hizsa, Felipe Bastos, Find Your Loud, Friendship, Kwerks, Laura and Ryab Koch, Living from the Heart, lost passport, Seed Cracked Open, Song of the Bird, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver | 1 Comment

Invited to Love

Posted on August 16, 2019 by Esther Hizsa

This is the fourth post about what happened on my 8-day silent retreat in July. If you haven’t read the previous ones, I encourage you to do that before you read today’s. I pray with Psalm 51 again, trying to … Continue reading →