This Annunciation

Posted on December 4, 2015 by Esther Hizsa

ANGELICO,_Fra_Annunciation,_1437-46_(2236990916)

This Annunciation

I was the angel chosen
to greet
the one with God
in her womb.

Light illuminated
her face
her hands
her words

light
warm with wonder
hushed  held
my soul

yet no Fra Angelico will ever paint
this annunciation
that happened
last Tuesday at my kitchen table

when
I was the angel
chosen to greet
another highly favoured one.

God is in her womb

and she kissed me
when she left.

Advent Reflection Questions:

  • What “Mary” have you been chosen to greet this week? 
  • What angel has seen God in you?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin Gaffke

A retired teacher I know reads to children at an elementary school nearby. She’s loving it and so are the children.

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth? Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Annunciation” by Fra Angelico, 1437. Wikimedia. Non-commercial usage allowed.
“This Annunciation” by Esther Hizsa, 2015. Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Advent, Mystical, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

God Desires Us

Posted on November 27, 2015 by Esther Hizsa

Creation_of_Adam_Sistine_Chapel wikipedia cropped“You can’t catch the Macdonald bus here,” a man says to me at the VCC-Clark Skytrain Station in Vancouver. “You need to go up to Clark.”

I hurry up Sixth Avenue. It’s early Saturday morning and I need to get to St. James Anglican church. I’m co-facilitating a retreat and don’t want to be late.

I suddenly realize I’m not sure of the bus route. Do I catch it going north or south? I feel a twinge of anxiety. I want to ask someone but no one’s around. If I run back to the station, I might miss the bus.

I spot a woman with a bag of groceries in each hand, walking briskly ahead of me. I quicken my pace.

“Hello,” I say to get her attention. But she doesn’t hear me.

“Hello!” I call louder.

And then, “HEL-LO!”

The woman stops, turns around and removes her earphones while still holding the bags. She’s about thirty years old with long curly hair and a hand-knitted toque.

“Oh, darling,” she says, looking into my eyes. “What’s the matter?”

Her compassion disarms me. “I … I need to catch the #22 bus to Main and Hastings.”

“Oh, that bus stop is across the street there.” She comes closer and points. “See it?”

She waits until she knows I have.

“Yes. Thank you.”

She hears the relief in my voice. Her shoulders relax; her back straightens. “You’re welcome.” She smiles warmly, then goes on her way.

Creation_of_Adam_Sistine_Chapel wikipedia eve

HE DESIRED ME SO I CAME CLOSE

No one can near God unless He has
prepared a bed for you.

A thousand souls hear His call every second,
but most every one then looks into their life’s mirror and
says, “I am not worthy to leave this sadness.”

When I first heard His courting song, I too
looked at all I had done in my life and said,

“How can I gaze into His omnipresent eyes?”
I spoke those words with all my heart,

but then He sang again, a song even sweeter,
and when I tried to shame myself once more from His presence
God showed me His compassion and spoke a divine truth,

“I made you, dear, and all I make is perfect.
Please come close, for I
desire
you.”

–Teresa of Avila (translated by Daniel Ladinsky)

Advent Reflection Questions:

  • As you consider the images of God in the painting, story or poem, what feelings are evoked?
  • Could these feelings contain God’s desire for you to come close? 

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin Gaffke

The term “love mischief” comes from a poem called Seed Cracked Open, written by Hafiz, a Sufi who lived in Persia in the 14th century. He wrote scores of poems about his playful relationship with God. Once I spent a whole retreat reading nothing but Hafiz’s poetry and felt divinely embraced. It’s the love mischief of Daniel Ladinsky, who translated these poems, we have to thank for introducing us to Hafiz and reviving the love poetry of Teresa of Avila and other ancient mystics. Recently, Daniel left this comment on one of my posts. “You say, ‘I did a little dance,’ in reading a comment I posted. That is really my sole care in the world now … to help every creature boogie ever higher—become more free and safe.”

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Creation of Adam” Sistine Chapel. Wikimedia. Non-commercial usage allowed.
“HE DESIRED ME SO I CAME CLOSE” by Teresa of Avila in Love Poems from God: Twelve Sacred Voices from the East and West by Various (Author), Daniel Ladinsky (Translator). Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Advent, Mystical, Poetry, Popular Posts, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Undoing My Life

Posted on November 20, 2015 by Esther Hizsa

cerus scarf Tony & wayneI’m still thinking about the “Oh, no!” I heard when a toy car went over the edge of the coffee table and crashed.

I imagine that a lot actually, when I fear going over the edge of acceptance and falling into a pit of rejection. Many things–gaining weight, saying the wrong thing, not doing the right thing–can spark an “Oh, no!” in my mind and make me anticipate an inevitable crash.

What would it be like to go through a whole week without an “Oh, no!”? If I could have chosen one, it would have been the week I facilitated (as a full team member now) the Living from the Heart course.

I prepared, hoped and prayed that I would get through the intensive without doing something dumb.

But God isn’t afraid of the things I’m afraid of. God had no trouble letting me drive a few cars over the edge each day.

Grrr! Midweek I prayed, God, really? I know my mistakes weren’t huge, and you could use them. But please, just let me have one day where things go as planned.

It didn’t happen.

“God is inviting us to let go of our emotional reactions and our desire to control ‘what is’ and just be present to it–without analysing, judging or fixing,” Jeff Imbach said in a teaching session. In this place, he explained, we can begin to be curious and ask, “God, how are you loving me in this?”

So I welcomed my disappointment that I got confused and misunderstood what I was supposed to do. I let it be there and wondered what God might be up to.

The answer didn’t come until a sleepless night at the end of the week. That day I had led people through a case study in transformation. It was about a woman who, after many meetings with her spiritual director, had been invited to let go of her wounded identity.

Was there an identity I was being invited to let go of? Perhaps the identity of Rejected One.

That’s when I saw why God had allowed me to mess up.

Daily the three facilitators–Jeff, Deb and I–talked about how the sessions went. We would receive with gratefulness what was meaningful to the participants and consider with humility how we might do things differently next time. We offered each other grace as we listened, but I wondered when my allotment of grace would run out.

Every day I wondered, will they reject me now? And each day I was met with love and acceptance.

In the middle of the night, I understood how God was loving me in “what was.” God wanted me to experience unconditional acceptance. And God wanted me to experience it again and again and again.

God was undoing the life of the Rejected One.

Old chair cropped by Ferrari

I took you from the ends of the earth,
    from its farthest corners I called you . . .
    I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
–Isaiah 41:9-10

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

How can we care for the people of Paris and those who perpetrated last Friday’s tragedy? Perhaps, like Jesus did on the cross, we can inhale all that violence and pain into our bodies and into the core of ourselves where God is. We can absorb it into the limitless dimensions of Love that is wider, longer, higher and deeper than we can imagine.  And then, like Jesus, we can breathe out peace onto the earth.

Breathe in pain; breathe out comfort.
Breathe in violence; breathe out peace.
Breathe in anger; breathe out forgiveness.

 … for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. –Romans 8:26 (NRSV)

I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit,  and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. –Ephesians 3:16-19 (NRSV)

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Sottosopra” by Roberto Ferrari. Used with permission.
“Cerus Scarf” by Tony & Wayne. Used with permission.
“La Marseillaise” by Jagrap. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Popular Posts, Poverty of Spirit, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“Oh, No!”

Posted on November 13, 2015 by Esther Hizsa

car crashes Madais

When our grandson was a preschooler, he loved to line up his toy cars on the coffee table. He and his dad would drive them around imitating the sounds of engines starting, horns beeping and tires squealing. Inevitably, they would drive a car over the edge and exclaim, “Oh, no!” and there would be a terrible crash.

The image of going over a cliff hollering “Oh, no!” has stuck with me. I have often heard that cry in my head whenever I anticipated calamity. What if it was my child that was trapped in a burning building? What if my home and everything I owned were destroyed? Could I survive losing all I hold dear?

When I was in my thirties, I read a book that talked about living courageously and honestly through crisis. But I couldn’t relate to it: I hadn’t had one.

But that all changed 1995 when a doctor in Turkey diagnosed Fred with kidney failure. Four days later, he flew back to Canada, leaving me to look after Rudy (13), Heidi (10) and Tieras, our forty-foot sailboat. The next ten years were characterized by loss, grief and struggle as we lived through one “Oh, no!” after another.

I wondered if I would ever stop crying.

Then one day, I felt strangely buoyant. I described this to my friend who was a psychiatric nurse and asked her if there was something wrong with me.

She smiled and said, “I think you’re finding out what it’s like to feel normal again.”

A few days ago a friend called. I barely recognized her voice; it was so hoarse with grief. She told me her father passed away on the weekend. She was living through a terrible “Oh, no!”

The operative phrase is “living through.” I could hear as I listened, how God felt her panic and was walking with her in her sorrow.

As she talked, I prayed that she could hear it too.

Stone Angel by Daniel Lee Pardue

For you have sent your angels to watch over me,
to guide me in all my ways.
On their hands, they will bear me up,
lest I dash my foot against a stone.
Though I walk among those who roar like the lion,
or are as stealthy as the adder,
in your strength will I be saved.
Because you cleave to me in love, I will deliver you; 
I will protect you, who call upon my Name.
When you call to Me, I will answer you;
I will be with you in times of trouble,
I will rescue you and reverence your life.
All through the years, will I dwell in your heart,
as Loving Companion Presence, forever.
–Psalm 91: 11-16,
Psalms for Praying: An Invitation to Wholeness, by Nan C. Merrill

Credits and References:
“Car crash” by madais. Used with permission.
“Stone Angel” by Donald Lee Pardue. Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Popular Posts, Reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

DIY Retreat #5: When Israel Was a Child I Loved Her

Posted on November 12, 2015 by Esther Hizsa

Here is another one-day prayer/silent retreat outline in the Ignatian tradition prepared by my friend Joy Richardson, a spiritual director in Coquitlam. You can find other  outlines under resources.  Here’s an introduction.

“When Israel Was a Child I Loved Her…”

child-walking-1Rembrandt copy 1640

  1. Welcome God’s Presence

(Begin with one of these prayers.)

Preparatory Prayer:

O Lord, I acknowledge that I am in Your Presence.
I offer this time to you.
Lead my heart and mind.
May everything I feel, think and do
be directed purely toward Your greater praise and service.
Amen.

Morning Prayer:

Blessed Trinity,
I receive Your Love, Your Presence and this day as a gift from You.
I open my heart to You.
Please lead me deeper into Your transforming Love
as we live these next hours together.
Amen

2. Ask God for the grace you need:

Some examples are:

  • for the grace to experience God’s love for you
  • for the grace to listen to what God says
  • for the grace to have a generous, committed and open heart
    and amazement at your existence and at how personally God relates to you.
  • for the grace that you may grow in freedom to hold on to all that brings you into a deeper relationship with God and let go of all that draws you away from God.

As you pray, “turn on” your heart.

  • Go to where your heart is leading you. Listen.
  • Be content to just be in God’s presence.
  • When you are moved by something, stay there.
    “The Spirit helps us in our weakness.” (Romans 8:26-27)

Prayer Session #1:

Hosea 11:1-11 “When Israel was a child I loved him (her)…”

(Alternate: Psalm 131, Song of Quiet Trust.)

Process:

  1. Read the passage.
  2. Welcome God’s Presence (Preparatory or Morning Prayer)
  3. Pray for a specific grace.
  4. Meditate on the passage (40-50 minutes). Read slowly and prayerfully. Listen to yourself, your heart and your own reactions. Listen to what might be from God, maybe a picture, memory, song, etc. Then stop. Pause and feel it for as long as possible. You don’t have to get to the end of the passage again. If you still have more time, continue reading until the next “feeling.” Stop and “feel” that. Continue.

    ***Do not write anything down at this time

  5. Have a conversation with Jesus about what took place in your prayer time. (10 min.)
  6. Write a “prayer review.” Reflect on your experience of your prayer, your feelings, thoughts and what happened. This helps us notice what God is doing.

Some questions that might help:

  • What happened inside me during the period of prayer?
  • How did I feel about what went on?
  • What was my mood, change in mood? What feelings flowed through me? What thoughts came in and out of my mind? Where was I drawn to dwell?
  • How were God and I present or absent to each other?
  • Was I praying for anything in particular? What was God’s response?
    –from “The Review of Prayer” by J. Veltri, S.J.

*

Take time to walk, eat , relax, etc for  about 90 minutes between prayer sessions.

*

Gallery-Religious-Jesus_with_childPrayer Session # 2:

Imagine a carefree time with Jesus.

If you have a favourite spot from when you were a child, go back there. If you don’t, choose a place where you would have liked to spend time as a child, e.g. a beach. Go to that place. Be a child of 5 or 6 years old. Imagine a time that is carefree, a time before rules and having to do what is right (e.g. only one treat a day). Imagine a time of freedom. This time with Jesus is a loving time of joy and spontaneity. Spend 40-50 minutes with Jesus. Enjoy!

Process:

  1. Welcome God’s Presence (Preparatory or Morning Prayer)
  2. Pray for a specific grace.
  3. Be a child in a place of freedom and joy with Jesus. See Prayer Session # 2 for details.
  4. Have a conversation with Jesus.
  5. Write a prayer review. See #6 above for details.

Preparing for our sharing time (for groups):

  1. As you read your first prayer review, allow room for the Holy Spirit to connect with you. Let what you are reading wash over you. Soak in it (like a bath). What is God’s flow over you like? Be relaxed. Be open to the unexpected.
  2. Read your second prayer review in the same way.

“Our experience of God’s love is so great, it trumps our fears, our wants.
Everything else pales. This is where we want to go.”
–Father Richard Soo, SJ

Credits:
A copy of a Rembrandt drawing, 1640.
“Innocence” by David Bowman. Used with permission.
Morning Prayer of SoulStream Community. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015  http://www.estherhizsa.com.
Posted in Childhood, Ignatian Spirituality, Prayer, Prayer Retreat Outline | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Calling Forth the Divine

Posted on November 6, 2015 by Esther Hizsa
4 kids with mom at beachMom with Harry, Ron, me, and Sylvia in 1959

My parents were married on November 1, 1952, three weeks after Mom landed in Canada.
Six years later, at the age of twenty-five, she had four children to look after and business accounts to keep while learning a new language and finding her way in a different culture—never mind finding time to enjoy a new marriage.

Dad winning award croppedDad had come to Canada in 1950 and soon afterwards took cheese making courses at the Ontario College of Agriculture in Guelph. He began managing the Cherry Hill Cheese Factory before their second child was born. By the third (me) and fourth were born, he was winning awards for his cheese in local and international competitions. Of course, Mom helped Dad prepare for those competitions.

The pace of life didn’t slow down for them until my oldest brother, Harry, started school. But their reprieve was short-lived. Harry brought home every childhood illness going around: chickenpox, mumps, measles, colds and flus. When my youngest brother was six months old, he had such severe pneumonia, the doctor put him in hospital for a week.

“The doctor told me, ‘Don’t visit him. You’ll only make him cry,’” she told me. “Besides who would look after the rest of you?”

I shook my head, imagining Ronnie surrounded by strangers and my mother with three young children at home, fearing her baby might die.

Mom and Dad had found a treasure in each other and invested all they had to buy that field. They also bought the struggles came with it.

In speaking of Jesus’ parable of the treasure in the field, Robert Farrar Capon said,

“The man who discovered the treasure did not simply buy a cubic yard or so of nice clean dirt in which he cleverly buried it. He bought the whole property: sinkholes, dung heaps, poison ivy, and sticker bushes plus all the rats, mice, flies and beetles that came with it. He now owns not only the treasure, but the field in which it is found.”

I imagine a field like that and want to plough it all under and start again. But, who has energy for that after washing diapers and wiping noses, keeping books and grasping for words?

Besides, it is not the way of Love to plough under.

Love finds treasures and buys fields, and then finds more treasure. Love discovers God in sinkholes and dung heaps. Then Love calls forth the divine from all that is.

family at Niagara Falls

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
–Luke 12:34

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin Gaffke

“Reduce hunger with dignity. Build community. Foster sustainability.” That’s the love mischief Quest and their friendly staff are doing for the world. Quest is British Columbia’s largest not-for-profit food exchange program. They offer access to affordable and healthy food choices for those facing barriers to this basic necessity. In partnering with food suppliers, social service agencies, and community stakeholders, they have fine-tuned their social enterprise model to become a hub of food redistribution in the Lower Mainland. Their programs are seen as essential to marginalized individuals as they transition themselves towards self-sufficiency.

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
Photos from Max and Heidi Frehner. Used with permission.
Matthew 13:44
The Parables of the Kingdom, Robert Farrar Capon
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Childhood, False Self, Popular Posts, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Love Decides Everything

Posted on October 30, 2015 by Esther Hizsa

mom CroppedBad & the big cheese

Mom and Dad met one day when she brought milk on a dog-cart to the cheese factory where my dad worked, near her family’s farm in a village outside Zürich.

She was seventeen, smart and beautiful; he was twenty-three, strong, handsome and just as hard-working and intelligent as she was.

And he made her laugh.

He didn’t want to fall in love; he knew he was leaving for Canada. He told her there was no future for him in Switzerland.

“Forget about me,” he said.

She cried and knew she couldn’t.

Mom and Dad wedding day close up

Two years later, she left her homeland and travelled on the SS Atlantic to Montreal. On the passage, she befriended a kind woman. Her parting words to my mother were, “If he’s not the same man you once knew, get right back on the boat and go home.”

“You were so brave,” I said to her sixty-three years later. “That was a hard thing to do.”

“Not really,” she laughed. “Not when you’re in love.”

Jesus knows what she’s talking about. He once said, “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.”

treasure in a field Daniel Bonnell

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is,
than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination
will affect everything.
 It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings,
 what you will do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
 what you read,
who you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.
— Fr. Joseph P. Whelan, SJ

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin Gaffke

I heard this story from a friend whose sister and brother-in-law are on a medical team in Nepal.

“A few days after the Nepal earthquake, the medical team headed up to the worst affected area to see what help they could give. They found a lot of destruction but few injuries. The team did what they could but left feeling like they’d only applied a band-aid to a massive wound.

“When they returned to the area recently, the villagers expressed deep gratitude for what the medical team had done. The team was surprised and humbled to learn that their visit had made a significant impact. Apparently, it helped the people of the village start the process of tidying up and rebuilding, while other villages have remained in a state of shock.”

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
Photos from Max and Heidi Frehner. Used with permission.
“Pearl of Great Price’ by Daniel Bonnell
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Popular Posts, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Spinning and Waiting

Posted on October 23, 2015 by Esther Hizsa

Spider Web by E.P.EwingEver since my book’s come out, I’ve been feeling anxious and vulnerable. I prayed for God’s comfort and the images of the Mountain Ash tree and the Salzburg Cross, and Hafiz’s love poem came to me.

I sensed God saying, “This is hard. Lean back into my arms. Let me bear the weight.”

I rest back in God’s arms and the tightness in my chest–my unwelcome guest–is still there.

I’m working hard. Accomplishing things often brings a sense of relief. When I finally take a break, Fred and I watch a documentary that shows people in Japan dying from overwork. They even have a name for it: Karōshi.

I get out for a walk and notice light reflecting off a dewy spider web. I stop and watch the spider spin. She attaches a strand, then continues to reach and attach another until she gets to the centre. When the spider is done, she waits motionless for the food she needs to come to her.

I continue my walk and come across another spider web and another.

I see what you are saying to me, Lord: Wait. What you need will come to your fragile, beautiful soul.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
    and in his word I hope;
 my soul waits for the Lord
    more than those who watch for the morning,
    more than those who watch for the morning.
–Psalm 130:5,6

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin Gaffke

A fellow I know has a job emptying houses for demolition. Two days before one was about to be bulldozed, he discovered some teenagers squatting in it. They had all been aged out of B.C.’s foster care system. “We had some long conversations. I told them I knew what it was like to be homeless,” he said. “And I found four of them jobs.”

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits:
“Oh What A Tangled Web We Weave . . .” by E.P.Ewing. Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

Posted in Poverty of Spirit, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Weighted Blessing

Posted on October 16, 2015 by Esther Hizsa

The Mountain Ash tree in my parents’ backyard was heavily laden with berries. There must have been two hundred clusters of them.

“Won’t they make a big mess when they fall off?” I asked my eighty-seven-year-old father.

Dad reassured me that birds would come and eat them before then. “One fall the birds never came,” he said. “Then in February a flock of them flew in and ate some. Then more birds came–one flock after another. A few days later the tree was picked clean.”

Mountain Ash by Amanda graham

I looked at the bowed branches, straining under the weight of the berries. I imagined how tired the tree would get, waiting for the birds to come. I also imagined how relieved the birds would be to find food in the winter. And then I imagined God’s arms under the branches, bearing the burden, as God did on another tree over two thousand years ago.

I think about what we are given to bear: a sadness, a calling, a desire. Time is slow and heavy. We ask God to resolve it, fulfil it or take it away, but often nothing seems to change. We wonder why God is so far away. Meanwhile, God’s arms are under ours, holding them up, just as the Israelites did for Moses.

Then one day, the birds come.

In a riot of glory, they feast and sing and feast some more. Our deep longing to bless is satisfied. Joy so rapturously fills us, we close our eyes to keep the moment from escaping.

Cedar Wax Wing by Randen Pedersen

Just Sit There Right Now
–Hafiz

Just
Sit there right now.
Don’t do a thing. Just rest.

For your
Separation from God
Is the hardest work in this world.

Let me bring you trays of food and something
That you like to
Drink.

You can use my soft words
As a cushion
For your
Head.

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

elizabethmckitrick1My friend Elizabeth McKitrick is seriously up to some love mischief for the world. Her store, Second Nature Home™,  is a retail space entirely focused on eco-friendly, organic products for the home—helping neighbours transform their home into a natural sanctuary. The shop offers one-stop eco-shopping with distinctive, sustainable products—a unique mix of locally sourced home essentials and curated decorative arts. The shop also provides the Trout Lake/Cedar Cottage neighbourhood of Vancouver with a refilling system for laundry soaps, shampoo, and other cleaning and personal products, reducing the negative environmental impact of plastic bottle manufacturing.

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Mountain Ash” in banner (not on home page) by JPC.raleigh. Used with permission.
“Mountain Ash” in winter by Amanda Graham. Used with permission.
Photo of Salzburg Cross by Martha Carlough. Used with permission.
Cedar Wax Wing by Randen Pederson. Used with permission.
“Just Sit There Right Now” by Hafiz from Love Poems from God: Twelve Sacred Voices from the East and West, translated by Daniel Ladinsky. Used with permission.

© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Poetry, Poverty of Spirit, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Stories of an Everyday Pilgrim is available!

Posted on October 9, 2015 by Esther Hizsa

I am excited to announce that my book, Stories of an Everyday Pilgrim, has been published and is available! To celebrate this long-awaited moment, today’s post is the first story in the book. Here’s more about how you can get a copy.

A Heart Set On Pilgrimage

god

Saturday mornings my mother used to pile us into the car and drive to town. While my older brother and sister had accordion lessons, Mom took my little brother and me shopping. Our favorite store, the only one I clearly remember, was the European delicatessen.

I can still see the grooves in the worn wooden floor and Swiss chocolate lined up next to jars of fruit-flavored candies. Wedges of cheese were displayed behind glass, and dried sausages hung from the ceiling. The smells—oh the aromas—that teased me as I watched thin pieces of salami fall from the slicer, and as I opened the bin of crusty buns. Finally, back at the car, my mom reached into the brown paper bag she carried and handed me a bun.

“Wait here,” she said and took my brother with her to fetch our siblings. You could do that in those days. No one thought twice about leaving a five-year-old alone for a few minutes.

Too nice a day to sit in the car, I leaned against it and dug out the middle of my bun. After I stuck it on my thumb and finished it off, I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I put one hand on a light post and swung around it. I sang, “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.”

As I sang, the words twirled with me, and I forgot I was waiting to go home. I felt like I had already come home to Someone big and important, and that Someone loved me. All the voices that told me otherwise flew far, far away. I knew what I knew.

Wait with me, God said. I heard the invitation again and again throughout my life, and sometimes I lingered with God, but most times I didn’t. I had too many things to do.

At forty-eight I was finishing a theology degree when a friend told me he had spent six hours alone with God and Henri Nouwen’s The Way of the Heart. When I heard how my friend was both shaken and taken by the experience, I wanted to go and be with God too. Yet I had responsibilities of a job and family and assignments due. How could I possibly get away? But when I accidentally deleted one of my essays, I knew I needed a break. “You can’t give what you haven’t got,” a preacher from Ghana once repeated a dozen times in the same sermon.

I’m thinking of going to Rivendell,” I said to my husband, Fred. “Just overnight. What do you think?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” he said. “Would you like me to drive you to the ferry?”

Rivendell2“

A few days later, I carried my backpack up Cates Hill on Bowen Island to Rivendell Retreat Centre. I opened Nouwen’s little book and read, prayed, and waited in the silence. For the first time, I prayed without words and simply rested in God.

“You look different,” Fred said when he picked me up the next day.

I felt different. My heart was set on pilgrimage. God was calling me to explore the height, depth and breadth of what I knew when I was five: Jesus loves me.

jesus with children large

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
—Psalm 84:5 

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

15-180-HAW-letter-reprint-2for-website-226x300

Wanda Mulholland and many others on the Burnaby Task Force On Homelessness are working hard to end homelessness in Burnaby. See what they are doing here and see how you can help. http://www.burnabyhomelesstaskforce.org/.

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“God” by Casey Brown. Used with permission.
“Rivendell Lodge” by Rivendell. Used with permission.
Jesus with Children, artist unknown.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Childhood, Homelessness, Popular Posts, Prayer, Stories, Stories of an Everyday Pilgrim | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments