There You Are

Posted on March 18, 2016 by Esther Hizsa

Apostles receiving communion

Okay. Okay. I’m being still. I’m trying to pause between activities and regain my balance. But, I’ll be honest with you, God. It doesn’t feel like a lot’s happening here. I haven’t stopped overeating and Lent is nearly over.

My heart aches with a deep longing to feel God’s presence.

Fred and I walk to church and arrive with time enough to quiet our souls. The church bell rings. We recite prayers, sing hymns and listen to scripture. The words bounce off me like rain on pavement.

Before communion, we turn to those around us and Pass the Peace with a handshake or a hug. I’m about to return to my seat when I hear, “There you are” and am embraced by a gentle man who sits across the aisle from us. His beard presses against my cheek for a second or two.

Tears well up. I replay his divine greeting over in my mind, absorbing the sing-song delight in it: There you are. 

Tears continue to flow as I recognize God in each person there. I line up for communion and God is standing before me and behind me. I kneel down and God kneels beside me. God places Christ’s body in my hands; God offers me the cup.

And I gladly receive it.

st. stephen's people

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.
–St. Patrick

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • Take a moment and look back on the past twenty-four hours. Who encouraged you? Could that be Christ?
  • Take a moment to allow God to look back over the last twenty-four hours of your life. What moment did God notice you being Christ for another?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin Gaffke

There were many unnamed people in the Bible that engaged in love mischief with our Lord: the woman at the well, the widow who gave her last coin, the cleansed leper who returned to give thanks. And there are many ordinary saints, like this fellow who hugged me, who change the world with little acts of love.

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Apostles receiving Communion” by Ted. Used with permission.
“St.Stephen the Martyr Anglican Church, Burnaby” by Rev. Gary Hamblin. Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
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Get Real Still

Posted on March 11, 2016 by Esther Hizsa

Feather 2 Jim Champion

It was easy to pick out our grandson in the line-up of swimmers. The eight-year-old wore a life jacket and was a foot or two shorter than the others. Like those ahead of him, he waited for his turn to try the obstacle course that stretched the length of the pool.

Large blue and grey inflatable tubes, eighteen inches in diameter and two to three feet long, were attached in parallel and perpendicular configurations with a slide at the far end. I watched one swimmer after another attempt to walk on water over this deceptively simple looking course. Nearly every person ended up losing their balance and falling in.

Then it was our grandson’s turn. He dog-paddled out to the first tube and pulled himself onto it. Gingerly, he got to his feet. He paused for a moment then stepped slowly onto one tube then another. When he felt his body waver, he paused until he regained his balance. Then moved on, stepping and pausing from one tube to the next until he scrambled up and slid down the slide at the end.

When he got out of the pool, Fred gave him a high-five.

“How’d you do it?” we asked.

“I got real still inside me,” he replied.

The eight-year-old’s words were just what I needed to hear. In the course of my day, I tackle one obstacle, and before I recover my balance, I’m onto the next. Perhaps that’s why, at day’s end, I feel overwhelmed and just want to watch TV and eat.

What if I paused and got real still before moving onto the next thing in my day? Would it really make a difference?

Well, it’s working for our grandson.

54 Vernon Walk

I have stilled and quieted my soul.
–Psalm 131:2a (NIV 1984) 

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • When was the last time you were still?
  • How did it feel?
  • What would it be like to return there regularly?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

brene-brown-home-360x239

Any social worker that is willing to do research in the area of shame and vulnerability, face her own stuff and talk about it has been up to much love mischief! Brené Brown is that person. I just watched her talk, “The Anatomy of Trust.” So helpful. Catch her Ted talks here. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “Brené Brown, you’re my hero.”

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Feather 2” by Jim Champion. Used with permission.
Quote: “God comes to you, disguised as your life.” is by Paula D’Arcy in Falling Upward by Fr. Richard Rohr.
“Vernon Walk 2015” by Fred Hizsa. Used with permission.
Photo of Brené Brown from her website.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Lent, Mindfulness, Reflections, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Between My Selves

Posted on March 4, 2016 by Esther Hizsa

This-lane-ends-sign

I gather up my courage and for the second time talk with my spiritual director about being overweight.

“I’m so confused,” I lament. “De Mello says ‘Don’t change.’ Richard Rohr points out that two of the four gospels begin with the call to repent. Lots of people I love are overweight, and I don’t think less of them. And this is the first time I’m not feeling called to give up dessert or junk food for Lent. Instead God is asking me to spend more time in prayer.”

“I don’t like being overweight,” I continue. “It’s not healthy. I see my siblings adjust to the aging process by eating less and working out. But when I try to make these changes, I feel like I’m pushing the river. I know I’m addicted to food, but it’s not like an addiction that involves other people. If I was hurting someone else, I’d stop.”

“But it’s okay to hurt yourself?” she offers gently.

I bite my lip and feel my heart pound.

Once again I picture Jesus with compassion in his eyes, the way he was in the story of the woman caught in the act of adultery. This time he stands between my two selves. His back is to my false self (standing, arms crossed, scowling), while he gives my true self (sitting, barely making eye contact) space and a voice.

I tell my director about my two selves. Among other things, she asks me how I feel about my false self.

“I like her because she gives me permission to do whatever I want and makes sure I’m not being deprived. She reminds me of a good friend I used to have who stood up for me and got me through some difficult years. But that friendship ran its course, and so has this one. I’m glad Jesus is standing between my two selves.”

Now I knew why God was calling me to prayer. In the stillness, God exposes my false self and empowers the only me God created. And that me loves my body and longs to be heard.

Butterfly resting D Wright

May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease
To discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.
–John O’Donohue, A Book of Blessings

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • How do you feel about your body?
  • How does God feel about it?
  • Take a moment and, with God, listen to your body. What does it need today?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

cranky molloscsI am so grateful for fitness coaches like my daughter’s friend, Karina Inkster (left, Heidi on right). In high school Karina and Heidi challenged each other to care for their minds and bodies. They gave up television for a year and read classics. They refused to suntan and stopped eating animal products. To this day, they support each other in their choice to eat sustainably and care for their bodies. They also make great music together.

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
Banner (not visible on home page) “Knit Together” by Kelly Dycavinu © 2011. Used with permission.
“This Lane Ends” courtesy of Best & Worst Ever Photo Blog.
“Butterfly Resting ” (cropped) by D Wright. Used with permission.
“The Cranky Molluscs” by Karina Inkster. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in False Self, Lent, Overeating, Spiritual Direction, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Love Is a Risky Business

Posted on February 26, 2016 by Esther Hizsa

Happy Valentine's dayIn the post Undoing My Life, I talked about a time when I kept expecting to be rejected but encountered love and acceptance instead. That experience was wonderful and scary.

As the Rejected One, I protected my heart from the inevitable pain of being discovered to be less than I should be. When God undid that persona, I was able to let down my guard and trust that Deb and Jeff really do love me.

Saying that out loud makes me so vulnerable. What if they don’t love me that much? What if they read this and feel bound by it? And what if they can’t keep loving me?

I’m like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade when he finds himself trapped on the edge of a mountain with a deep chasm below. To get to the other side, he must step out into thin air, trusting there will be something solid under his feet to support him. He takes one step, then another. We hold our breath and watch until he reaches the other side where he hopes to find the Holy Grail. What I hope to find on the other side is a trust in God’s love that is so solid that I’m unafraid of rejection.

But to get there, I must teeter in mid-air–heart pounding, hands trembling–relying on the faith to believe I really am loved.

I don’t know which comes first. Does an experience of God’s love enable us to be vulnerable with others? Or does being loved by others open us to God? Either way, whether it’s trusting an invisible Deity or somewhat unreliable human beings, love is a risky business.

But I’ve said it before, I’m not going back. Not to Egypt and not to the security of being the Rejected One.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
–Hebrews 11:1.

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • What happened this week that opened you to love?
  • What made you want to guard your heart?
  • Spend time talking with God about both experiences. How do you feel about what happened? How do you imagine God feels?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin GaffkeOver a thousand customers have “shopped” at New Life’s Community Free Store of Children’s Clothing (and other items for children) since it opened in 2009. Seventy-five volunteers from the surrounding area–diverse in ethnicity, belief and background–work regularly to sort donations and/or run the store two mornings a week. The Free Store has helped refugees, new immigrants, and those on low incomes make ends meet as well as helping customers in any income bracket live more sustainably. The Free Store cares for the earth by making it easy for parents to reuse clothing and by keeping thousands of pounds of used clothing out of landfills. “Loving others the way Jesus loves us,” is the store’s motto. “Everyone gets that,” says volunteer manager, Wendy Holland. “I’m totally stoked by how I have seen lives changed by the love and generosity of donors and volunteers.”


What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Happy Valentine’s Day” by Elisa. Used with permission.
Photo of painting of knights attempting a leap of faith to reach the Holy Grail (from the feature film Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) by Mary Harrsch. Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Lent, Popular Posts, Reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Caught in the Act

Posted on February 19, 2016 by Esther Hizsa

The religious leaders were ready to stone her. But Jesus defended the woman caught in the act of adultery. “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her,” he said. One by one they dropped their stones and left.

I easily imagine myself as that woman. Regularly I am unfaithful to Love in thought, word or deed. As soon as I see what I’ve done, a whole gang of religious critics in my head are ready to stone me. But Jesus intervenes with de Mello’s words, “Leave yourself alone.”

He sits on the ground with me and waits for the critics to leave. I see tenderness in his eyes. “Where are they?” he says. “No one condemns you?”

“No one.”

“Neither do I.”

It takes a minute for his words to sink in. I am loved just as I am: unchanged.

But I know how the story goes. I prepare myself for this grace to be short-lived. Like a chameleon, Jesus is about to become like all the other religious leaders and scold me. He’s going to tell me to leave my life of sin. Fat chance of that.

But when Jesus speaks, I don’t hear, Stop being so bad. I hear, Go ahead, you can leave your life of sin. You don’t need it.

Common Grace

To illustrate his point, I am reminded of the play I just saw at Pacific Theatre. In Common Grace, Colleen has had an affair with Mark, a married man. Her sisters, mother, pastor, and Mark’s wife all tell her–with and without expletives–how this affair has hurt them. Yet Colleen remains unaffected by their speeches. Mark is her one true love, and she still dreams of a life with him. But when she unexpectedly experiences acceptance, she is confused. With this taste of real love, suddenly Mark’s is less desirable.

In the play of my life, I say to Jesus, “I see now how it works. Your Love is real, exposing other ‘loves’  that are counterfeit. Then, theoretically, I won’t want them anymore. But there’s a trick. It’s not thinking about love, or knowing I am loved that frees me. It’s allowing myself to be loved. And that’s &#%!@? scary.”

Wait a minute. That last line isn’t in the script. Where did that come from?

Common+Grace+1

 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.  In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”  They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.  Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
PUT_CHARACTERS_bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbHERE–John 8:2-11

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • How do you feel about experiencing God’s love?
  • What do you hope for?
  • What scares you?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

PT logo

“Pacific Theatre aspires to delight, provoke and stimulate dialogue by producing theatre that rigorously explores the spiritual aspects of human experience. In over 30 seasons, Pacific Theatre has produced more than 120 professional mainstage productions ranging from established works to original world premieres featuring some of the top theatre artists from Vancouver and across the continent.” Thanks to Ron Reed, founding artistic director, and the PT community for over thirty seasons of love mischief!

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Stones” by Clint Mason on banner (not visible on home page). Used with permission.
Image of Shauna Johannesen and Robert Garry Haacke in Common Grace by Shauna Johannesen, courtesy of Pacific Theatre.
Image of Julie Lynn Mortensen, Cara Cunningham, Shauna Johannesen, and Kerri Norris, in Common Grace by Shauna Johannesen, courtesy of Pacific Theatre.
Information about Pacific Theatre is from their website.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
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Glory Led Me Here

Posted on February 12, 2016 by Esther Hizsa

The_Death_of_Moses_(crop)The last blossom on my Christmas cactus fell weeks ago. For forty days vibrant pink glory adorned the room where I pray, write, and offer spiritual direction. But now that glory is gone.

I think of the Israelites. For forty years they beheld God’s presence–cloud by day, fire by night–until they entered the Promised Land. Soon afterwards they woke up and the cloud was gone. No quail, no manna, no Moses. And at night? Only darkness.

I feel their loneliness; I feel mine. I know God is here, but I don’t see or sense God’s presence. I hear nothing but the clock ticking.

God is silent, but in this foreign land I am given a new rule.

“Don’t change. Change is impossible, and even if it were possible, it is undesirable. Stay as you are. Love yourself as you are. And change, if it is at all possible, will take place by itself if and when it wants. Leave yourselves alone. The only growth-promoting change is that which comes from self-acceptance.”
PUT_CHARACTERS_HERE–Anthony de Mello, S.J.

Once I hear these words, there’s no going back to Egypt, to a life of slavery and toil. I’m done with trying to fix myself. De Mello isn’t condoning bad behaviour; he’s inviting me to love myself the way God loves me: unconditionally. And out of that love, whatever is not loving in me will fall away.

This truth resonates deeply in my soul, opening doors, setting me free. The blossoms, cloud and fire led me here, to this land flowing with milk and honey, grace and mercy, and peace, peace, peace in every direction, as far as my eyes can see.

Kite

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
–John 8:32

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • Where are you with God? In Egypt, wandering in the desert, or in a new land?
  • How is God loving you here?
  • What would it be like to “leave yourself alone” and join God in loving yourself as you are right now?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Antoni-de-melo

“Wake up!” Anthony de Mello, a master at love mischief, joyfully encouraged everyone. Until his sudden death on June 2, 1987, Jesuit priest, Fr. Tony was the director of the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counselling near Poona, India. Author of five best-selling books, renowned worldwide for his workshops, retreats, and prayer courses, he aimed simply to teach people how to pray, and how to wake up and live.


What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“The Death of Moses,” as in Deuteronomy 34:1-12, illustration from a Bible card published 1907 by the Providence Lithograph Company. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Anthony de Mello quote in A Life of Being, Having, and Doing Enough by Wayne Muller, 2011.
“Kite” by Kinshuk Sunil. Used with permission.
Information about Anthony de Mello from De Mello Spirituality Centre; photo from Wikimedia commons.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Ignatian Spirituality, Lent, Mystical, Reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Ash Wednesday

Posted on February 9, 2016 by Esther Hizsa

pilgrim shell and boots

Pilgrimage

Ash Wednesday
He’s on the road
PUT waiting for me

today we begin
a forty day walk
to Jerusalem

I lace up my shoes
and follow
PUT from a safe distance

but it’s bound to happen
His eyes will catch mine
and I must summon the courage
PUTnot to look away

for in His loving gaze
questions arise
PUTmemories
PUThopes
PUTand fears

and we will
carry them all
PUT to Jerusalem

*

Brian Whelan

 Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. – Luke 9:51

 

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • Where have you seen Jesus on the road?
  • What are you carrying?
Credits:
Photo of hiking boots and scallop shell on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela from Paulo Coehlo forum. Labelled for reuse.
“Pilgrimage of Sight” by Brian Whelan was featured in explore, a magazine from the Ignatian Centre of Jesuit Education in Santa Clara California. The painting is owned by the vicar of Blythburgh Church in Suffolk, UK. Used here with permission.
“Pilgrimage” by Esther Hizsa from Stories of an Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2016
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Lent, Poetry, Stories of an Everyday Pilgrim | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Hoodwinked

Posted on February 5, 2016 by Esther Hizsa

Frayed rope about to breakA colleague asked me if I’d like to offer spiritual direction for participants at an upcoming Ignatian retreat. As soon as I got her e-mail, I knew I wanted to say yes. I’ve done it before; I love listening to what happens in retreatants’ prayers and helping them deepen their experience of God. But that Saturday I already had two commitments. If I accepted her invitation, I would need to shorten my visit with a friend who was coming from out-of-town and miss hanging out with our grandchildren that afternoon.

“I’d still be there for the rest of their sleepover,” I said to Fred.

“But you’ll be tired,” he replied.

Rescheduling the visits wasn’t an option. It was obvious: I should turn down this opportunity.

It took me a few days to get back to my colleague. I kept hoping there would be some way I could go. I held two things in tension: the strong desire to do something I love and the realization that this strong desire was not from God.

Whenever I’ve felt the pull to say yes and do something life-giving for others, I haven’t given it a second thought. I assume this desire must be from God. Now I know it might not. Now I can see how I got hoodwinked into doing so much in the fall. Some of the fruit of my labour was exhaustion. No wonder I didn’t want to do much during Advent.

Ignatius would have said “the evil spirit” used false consolation to hoodwink me. Thomas Merton might have suspected my “False Self” was deceptively feeding my desire for honour and pride. Either way, I must concede: sometimes there is a dark force at work in me that doesn’t have my best interest at heart. But, by God’s grace and with Fred’s help, I’m onto it.

Miracleofthefig

Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick
figs from thorn bushes or grapes from briers.
–Luke 6:44

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Heidi's yarnOur daughter, Heidi, has been creating beautiful things ever since she got the hang of scissors. Her love of textiles and respect for all living things eventually sparked the idea for what is now Vegan Yarn. In her home studio, Heidi hand-dyes plant-based, predominantly organic yarns with earth-friendly dyes. Vegan Yarn is shipped to knitters and shop owners all over the world. “We work mindfully to create beautiful things that exist for more than their own sake, that do not exist at the expense of someone’s happiness but as works of art that are made of freedom, compassion and joy.” –Heidi Braacx

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Frayed rope” by Heidelberger Law, Image labelled for reuse.
“Miracle of the Fig” Byzantine Icon. Wikimedia Commons.
Photo of yarn by Heidi Braacx. Used with permission.
“Hearts Desire” banner photo (not visible on  home page) by Ted Rheingold. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
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DIY Prayer Retreat #6: Praying with Our Senses at the Beginning of a New Year

Posted on February 4, 2016 by Esther Hizsa

Nearly every month I gather with friends for a silent retreat. It has been a rich experience. I explained how it works here.

Thanks to Ann Green, who helped me put this retreat together.

Supplies needed:

  • Jelly Bellies (5 per person)
  • an assortment of photographs or pictures cut out of magazines
  • art supplies such as: sketch paper, construction paper, tissue paper, scissors, glue, markers, crayons, pencil crayons, etc. (optional)

The first Bird Back by Lulu Lovering

 

Praying with Our Senses at the Beginning of a New Year

10:00 am:  Arrive and enjoy conversation over tea or coffee.

10:30 am: Gather in silence and listen to a restful instrumental song such as Mary’s Lullaby –Gemma, Rest 

Light a candle and read aloud:

Pied Beauty 

GLORY be to God for dappled things—
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced—fold, fallow, and plough;
And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.       

 All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.
  —Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844–89)

Housefinch with Goldfinch

Welcome! Today we will use our senses to pray as we let go of the old and welcome the new. Listen to the words of Isaiah, the prophet:

This is what the Lord says—
    he who made a way through the sea,
    a path through the mighty waters,
who drew out the chariots and horses,
    the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
    extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:
“Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.
—Isaiah 43:16-19

Listen to the words of Matthew:

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”  At once they left their nets and followed him.

Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them,  and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. —Matthew 4:18-22

In the next four hours of silence, you are invited to listen to your soul and listen to God as you pray with the following exercises.

Jelly Bellies by Wicked Sushi

Prayer Exercise #1:  Jelly Belly Prayer

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
–Psalm 34:8

  • Sit comfortably alert with your eyes closed. Take a few deep breaths and then begin to breathe normally again. Relax into your breathing and take some time to let go of distracting thoughts and come fully into the present. Open your heart to Jesus who is present to you now.
  • Ask the Holy Spirit to awaken your senses and guide you.
  • With your eyes still closed, take one Jelly Belly and put it into your mouth. Take your time as you taste and chew it.
  • What do you taste? What do you feel as you taste it? What words describe the flavours and your response to it?
  • Let the flavour or response bring to mind an experience from the past year. Take a few minutes reliving that experience with Jesus.
  • Receive it as an unchangeable moment in your life.
  • Breathe in and out: Amen
  • When you are ready, choose another Jelly Belly. Repeat the above process until all 5 candies are consumed.
  • What was most significant to you in this prayer exercise? You may want to journal about it.

Between prayer exercises enjoy a puzzle, sketch, colour, knit, go for a contemplative walk.

“The contemplative dimension of walking comes through my presence to the world around me and to what is moving through me as I walk. I listen for the ways the divine is speaking through the world. I listen to my own heart beating more loudly because of the vigour of my movement. I listen for the ways that new ideas arise in this space.” — Christine Valters Paintner, The Artist’s Rule

splash!-Anne Yungwirth

Prayer Exercise #2:   Visio Divina 

Opening to the image

  1. Choose a photograph that evokes the strongest response in you (positive or negative).
  2. Open your heart to the movement of the Spirit in this moment.
  3. Take a good loving look at the image. What do you notice first? What do you notice next?
  4. Take a moment to notice within yourself  your initial responses to the image as you pay attention?
  5. Take another good look at the image, noticing the details to see what might be there that are important for you.
  6. Again, notice within yourself what arises in you? What seems to be strong—either attraction or aversion?

Conversation with God

  1. What do you sense God offering you?
  2. What would you like to say to God?
  3. Let the conversation flow as it seems appropriate.

Stillness

  1. Take a few minutes to be still with what has been given. Allow your heart to settle with what is present for you today.
  2. Offer a final expression of loving surrender to God.

leaf cropped

 

Optional activity for longer retreats : Multimedia artwork  

  1. Reread Isaiah 43:16-19 & Matthew 4:18-22
  2. Draw or cut out and paste on a piece of construction paper a tree with branches on it.
  3. Cut out leaves from construction paper to go on the tree. Make them big enough to write one or two words on them.
  4. Make some leaves spring colours (green) and others fall colours (yellow, orange, brown, red).
  5. On the fall leaves write down former things you feel God inviting you to let go of.
  6. On the spring leaves write down new things God is doing or bringing into your life.
  7. Using the other supplies provided, draw or add anything else you would like to put in your picture.

“Be. Here. This moment. Now is all there is, don’t go seeking another. Discover the sacred in your artist’s tools; they are the vessels of the altar of your own unfolding. Look at this cup of holy water, washing clean the brushes. See the blank page, awaiting your blessing. Gaze on the colours before you, each one a name of God: Saffron, Cobalt, Azure, Ruby. Say each one slowly and taste its juice in your mouth. Let this be your prayer. Brush them across the page. First the small strokes, then the large sweeps. Lose track of all time. This too is prayer. Listen for the words that rise up: Awaken. Envision. Sing, Alleluia. Place marks on the page saying I am here. Watch as word and image dance together. Luminous. Illuminated. This is your sacred text. This is where God’s words are spoken, sometimes in whispers, sometimes in shouts. Be there to catch them as they pass over those sacred lips, tumbling so generously into your open arms.”
— Christine Valters Paintner, The Artist’s Rule

 3:00 pm: Gather again in silence and listen to a restful instrumental song such as All Shall Be Well –Gemma, Trust

  • Share what was most significant for you today.
  • Allow for a moment of silent prayer after each person shares.
  • Close in prayer.

Lord, you have made a way into this year,
a path through the mighty waters;
let us go forth together.
We leave behind our former things
and receive the new thing you are doing.
Walk with us into the wilderness;
help us drink deeply from your stream.
Amen

 

Credits and References:
“The First Bird Back’ by Lulu Lovering. Used with permission.
“House Finch and Goldfinch” by Beau Considine. Used with permission.
Photo of Jelly Bellies by Wicked Sushi. Used with permission.
“Splash” by Anne Yungwirth. Used with permission.
Instructions for Visio Divina are from SoulStream’s Living from the Heart course. Used with permission.
“Leaf’ by seyed mostafa zamani (cropped slightly). Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Prayer, Prayer Retreat Outline, Reflections, Resource | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Assumptions

Posted on January 29, 2016 by Esther Hizsa

Latte_art_in_a_Starbucks_Coffe_ShopI ran into my neighbour the other day at Starbucks. He lives alone and has been on government assistance because of a disability for most of his life. I have wondered how he makes ends meet, especially with the recent increase in food prices.

“Have seat,” he said and pushed a chair toward me. “Been shopping?”

“Yeah. I can’t believe how much these fruits and vegetables cost.” I took off my loaded backpack and sat down.

“They sure are expensive,” he said. In our conversation I learned where he shopped to get the best deals. “I eat pretty simply–oatmeal for breakfast, beans, rice and vegetables for supper.”

“What’s the highlight of your week?”

He smiled. “My roast chicken dinner Fridays and coming here for coffee. I like getting out; I meet some pretty interesting people.”

“You know, if you register your Starbucks card, you get free coffee on your birthday.”

“At Christmas, I got a bunch of coffee cards from my family and one from a friend at church. His note said, ‘You’re always making coffee for us, I thought you might enjoy drinking some yourself.’  I thought the card might have ten dollars on it. But it had fifty! I could hardly believe it. Between him and my family, I’m set for the year.”

As I got up to go, I remembered to tell him where he could get Cobs bread for free on Saturday mornings.

“They make good bread,” he said. “But, on Saturday mornings, I like to go out for coffee   then treat myself to lunch, so I don’t think I will. But thanks for telling me about it.”

I offered to save some for him the next time Fred and I were asked to pick it up.

“I like the seedy loaf.” But after he thought more about it, he said, “That’s okay. I likely wouldn’t be able to eat it before it goes bad. I would have already bought the bread I need for the week, and I only have a small freezer in my fridge. But, I’ll keep it in mind.”

He hugged me goodbye. “Peace be with you,” he said.

“And with you.”

Half way home I realized: I had just assumed that because my neighbour is on Disability, he doesn’t have enough and could use my help to get more. But he is at peace with his life and generously shares that peace with me.

hands reaching out little star

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding and my entire will
–all that I have and call my own.
You have given it all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.
Everything is yours, do with it as you will.
Give me only your love and your grace.
That is enough for me.
–Ignatius of Loyola

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin Gaffke

Erik is a father of two young boys. He has been a stay-at-home dad for five years. I asked him if he enjoyed it. “Oh, yes. I love it,” he said. “Sure, my wife and I miss the old days when we had more money and just did whatever we wanted. But it’s all right; we have enough.” Erik and his family have discovered: when we are content with what we have, there’s more time for those we love.

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Latte Art in a Starbucks Coffee Shop” from Wikimedia Commons.
“Reaching Out” by little*star. Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Ignatian Spirituality, Spiritual Direction, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments