There it is again in the pit of my stomach,
when I go to sleep at night,
when I wake in the morning,
the feeling that something’s wrong,
something bad’s going to happen.
Summertime,
when I have nothing at all to worry about,
I am troubled.

I don’t like this feeling
born of illogical belief.
I analyze, anticipate, normalize, distract,
but it persists.
She persists.

Finally, I see her.
She wants my attention,
wants me to
stop looking at her through the rear-view mirror,
stop trying to get her to be quiet,
stop telling her she has nothing to be afraid of.

She wants me to
stop the car,
take her out of the car seat,
and hold her.

The Mother in the core of my being
awakens.

I pull over and turn off the engine.

Jesus turned and saw her.
–Matthew 9:22 (NIV)

Credits and References:
rainy glass by AЯMEN. Used with permission
I See Her by Esther Hizsa, 2026
Rear-view Eyes by flightsaber. Used with permission

© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2026.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2026.  http://www.estherhizsa.com