Ever since my book’s come out, I’ve been feeling anxious and vulnerable. I prayed for God’s comfort and the images of the Mountain Ash tree and the Salzburg Cross, and Hafiz’s love poem came to me.
I sensed God saying, “This is hard. Lean back into my arms. Let me bear the weight.”
I rest back in God’s arms and the tightness in my chest–my unwelcome guest–is still there.
I’m working hard. Accomplishing things often brings a sense of relief. When I finally take a break, Fred and I watch a documentary that shows people in Japan dying from overwork. They even have a name for it: Karōshi.
I get out for a walk and notice light reflecting off a dewy spider web. I stop and watch the spider spin. She attaches a strand, then continues to reach and attach another until she gets to the centre. When the spider is done, she waits motionless for the food she needs to come to her.
I continue my walk and come across another spider web and another.
I see what you are saying to me, Lord: Wait. What you need will come to your fragile, beautiful soul.
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
more than those who watch for the morning,
more than those who watch for the morning.
∗ ∗ ∗
Love Mischief for the World
A fellow I know has a job emptying houses for demolition. Two days before one was about to be bulldozed, he discovered some teenagers squatting in it. They had all been aged out of B.C.’s foster care system. “We had some long conversations. I told them I knew what it was like to be homeless,” he said. “And I found four of them jobs.”
“Oh What A Tangled Web We Weave . . .” by E.P.Ewing. Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
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