We left the hospital
to let my dad rest.
Before we could return,
the doctor called.
with the news of his passing.
I should have been there.
The dull ache of regret
lingers even though
I have all the right words to release it.
Regret,
blame, disappointment,
guilt, and powerlessness,
take up more space
than I wish they would.
But they don’t take up
all the space
Compassion invites me to breathe
and let them be.
This, too, shall pass.
A joy, a depression, a meanness…
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture…
–Rumi, The Guest House
Credits and References:
Photo of our dad, Max by Ron Frehner. Used with permission.
“On My Dad’s Passing” by E. Hizsa, 2024
“Geese” by Steve. Used with permission
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2024.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2024. http://www.estherhizsa.com
About Esther Hizsa
Esther is a writer, spiritual director, and cofacilitates contemplative retreats and courses. She lives in Vernon, B.C. with her husband, Fred.
Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes, the guilt will pass. ‘This too, shall pass’ seems to be one of my favourite sayings these days.
Peace,
Susan
“You are the light of the world.” – Jesus of Nazareth
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Thanks, Susan.
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I am sorry for your loss dear Esther. I lost both father and mother last year. I wrote a memory book for me and my family. I put photos and stories in the memory journal. I want to ensure I don’t forget their faces and their words.
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I am sorry for your loss too… to lose both your parents in one year. That’s hard. May you be blessed as you remember your parents and may new memories come to you.
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Thanks for writing that … I still feel the guilt. My dad died 20 minutes after I left him …
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Thanks, Audrey. May God comfort us both.
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Very well said Esther. I am so sorry for your loss. I think we all have regrets when one of our parents pass away. But you are so right, this too shall pass. You did as much as you could and I’m sure he appreciated every minute you spent with him. Hugs💕💕💕
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Thanks so much. I am sure he did too.
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So sorry to hear about you dad Esther. It’s so hard to have a parent pass away. We are in Vernon this long weekend if you need anything or a great big hug❤️ Kim and John
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Thanks Kim.
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So sorry for your loss. So well put.
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Thanks, so much.
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