You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day.
–Psalm 91:5

It happened again and again and again.
Moments when my body and mind
were in the same place
enjoying
the taste of freshly picked raspberries,
the smell of chopped basil,
the sight of a mama deer and her fawns,
the sound of my brother’s voice cracking another joke,
the feel of gliding downhill at the end of a long ride.

It’s easy not to fear when life is so good.

But fear didn’t return
after my brother went home
and I found my father
doubled over in pain, 
when the ambulance came
or during the long hours in emerge–
bloodwork, then more bloodwork,
x-rays, CT scan
IV, painkillers,
monitors beeping.

The doctor came
and went
and came again,
then the surgeon.
I thought fear might come 
when he laid out the risks
of a 96-year-old on blood thinners
with congestive heart failure
having an operation 
but it didn’t.

I went home and slept soundly
until the surgeon called
with good news.

My fears may return,
if the car part doesn’t arrive 
or wildfires threaten. 
But today,
I am here,
unafraid of the terrors and arrows
that may come tomorrow.

Credits and References:
“Mutter, Kind, Kind” by Lukas Stifter. Used with permission
“Terrors and Arrows” by Esther Hizsa, 2024
“Coldstream Valley, Vernon, B.C. by Ian Spence, Wikipedia, Creative Commons

© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2024.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2024.  http://www.estherhizsa.com