“I have wonderful news:
the Hoped-for-One,
the Birthing you’ve longed for
in the depths of your soul,
has come, oh yes, has come!”
— Joyce Rupp
Really?
I can’t see it happening.
I long to be birthed
into long stretches of unrattled moments,
moments of ease
and wholeness
untinged with disappointment.
Will Your coming
calm the sea of my life
free me from my paralyzing thoughts
satisfy my hunger?
This wafer is so small,
this wine, only a sip.
What do you hear in the depths of your soul, My love?
There is a deeper longing.
Listen.
Then I saw it
and felt you nod and smile.
The gift of Emmanuel–
God with us.
You are with me
in every passing moment
holding my hand
opening my eyes
to see in each rattling
the seed of a miracle.
What is being birthed
is the freedom to choose
to turn away
or turn to wonder.
When the going gets rough, turn to wonder.
–Parker J. Palmer, Circles of Trust
An Everyday Pilgrim 
Thank you – this is beautiful. I’ve been feeling fairly depressed in the last couple of days, longing for affirmation of God’s love but fearing that, even if He does love me, it is wrong and selfish to want to be loved. At a Christmas carol concert last night it really struck me: the key point about Jesus is that he loves us, and yet this is the thing I most ignore when I’m depressed, because I want to punish myself and therefore train myself to picture Jesus as someone who regards all humans as evil and therefore hates or loathes and despises us.
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Thanks for sharing this. Depression is hard and can really mess with our heads. I’m glad you were able to be encouraged and that you brought these dark thoughts into the light.
May God confirm to you that your desire to be loved is God-given and that God enjoys loving us more than we can hope for or imagine.
May those false images of Jesus melt away and may you be reminded again and again (as I was on my retreat recently and wrote about last week) of how precious you are to him.
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