It’s been almost three months since my convergence, and I can feel the difference. I fit into clothes I haven’t worn in years and can now bike up Burnaby Mountain and down again in just under an hour.
But the energy that first motivated me has lessened. I still have a way to go, and I’m not giving up. So whether I feel like it or not (and right now I don’t), I will stick to my routine of prayer, yoga, eating healthy foods without snacking, and getting outside for a bike ride or walk every day.
I’m reminded of something Ignatius of Loyola taught: when you are in the dark, don’t change a decision you made in the light. I remember my Rule and how I promised to only discontinue a practice after a time of discernment. I remember a friend who often wakes with a “no” to life and has learned to open to God and wait patiently for a “yes.”
So I sit in this lackluster mood and open to God in the silence. The distractions are relentless.
I pray tonglen for those who are grieving a great loss and others who carry great weight.
I pray tonglen for myself, breathing in my malaise and breathing out trust.
Then I roll out my mat and cue today’s Yoga with Adriene.
Awaken, O Love. O You who created me,
return to my side;
forget me not in my weakness.
Nan C. Merrill, Psalms for Praying, An invitation to Wholeness
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During this pandemic, we are repeatedly reminded to stay home. As a result, many have discovered a wonderful new restaurant called the kitchen. This is a great time to try out new recipes. A friend of mine sent me this one. It’s delicious.