God with Us to the End

thief

I look at the naked, bloodied body next to me. “What’s he doing here?”

A sinless man is being crucified beside us: me on his left, the other criminal on his right. The crucified always die in disgrace, our lives held up as negative examples.

Yet, he is good. People call him rabbi, healer, messiah, saviour, Son of God. At birth they called him Emmanuel: “God with us.” God with us in life. Now, God with us in death.

Crowds hurl insults at Jesus, insults we deserve. The other thief joins in. “Some saviour he is. Can’t even save himself, let alone us.”

“Have some respect.” I struggle for breath. “We had it coming, but not him. He’s not like us.”

“He’s a fake.”

“No. A king.” Lungs burn, limbs scream. Always knew I’d get caught, die alone. But I’m not alone. I’m with the one they call…

“Jesus.” I can barely whisper. “Remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Jesus turns his head and looks at me. I see his face for the first time. He’s no older than me. Blood trickles down from the crown of thorns on his head. His voice is gentle. “Today,” he says between breaths, “you will be with me, in paradise.”

Euphoria rises from my belly, shoots into every sinew and cell in my body, erupts in laughter. Never before have I felt such love, such joy.

Then suddenly, it’s dark. Mid-afternoon, can’t see a thing. The earth heaves and groans. Nails rip flesh. Cries, curses, prayers. Hold breath. Silence.

Is he gone?

Jesus shouts, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”  One breath and–wait. No more.

I am alone again. But not alone.

Tears on my cheeks. Paradise. Today. I’m coming home to the King.

 

 A prayer for Good Friday:

Jesus-and-the-rich-man by Heirich Hoffmann cropped Jesus, may all that is you flow into me.
May your body and blood
be my food and drink.
May your passion and death
be my strength and life.
Jesus, with you by my side
enough has been given.
May the shelter I seek
be the shadow of your cross.
Let me not run from the love which you offer,
But hold me safe from the forces of evil.
On each of my dyings
shed your light and your love.
Keep calling to me
until that day comes when, with your saints,
I may praise you forever.

– Soul of Christ (Anima Christi),
paraphrased by David L. Fleming, S.J.

Credits:
“Thief,” original source unknown.
“Christ and the Rich Young Ruler” by Heinrich Hoffmann, 1889.
Written by Esther Hizsa. Originally published as With Christ in Glory April 17, 2014
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016  http://www.estherhizsa.com.
Posted in Easter, Holy Week, Lent, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Gethsemane

See how tenderly the angels comfort Jesus in his anguish. He longed for such compassion from his friends, but they couldn’t do it. They disappeared into a panacea of sleep. We rely on Jesus to be with us in everything, but will we be with him in all he must endure?

One Maundy Thursday, Jesus turns to me and says, “Esther, stay with me.”

I swallow hard and ask God for the grace to be able to be with him. Then I close my eyes and imagine myself in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Jesus is about to be betrayed and his heart is heavy with sorrow. Peter, James and John are asleep, deaf to his painful pleading. I want to put my hands over my ears. It’s heart-wrenching to hear Jesus so deeply distressed. He paces and cries out, “Please… Father… take this cup from me.” He falls on his knees, covers his face with his hands and wails.

“God, do something!” No sooner have I said the words when angels come and comfort him.

I ask God, “Can I go and comfort him too?”

“Go,” God says.

I run to Jesus and wrap my arms around him.  He clutches on to me so tightly I can barely breathe. He’s trembling. Tears soak into my shirt.

After a long time he sits back and looks me in the eyes. “My Father has asked me to go to the cross and die for you,” he says wiping his cheeks. “And I will go.”

“Don’t do it for me,” I say. “Am I really worth it?”

“Are you worth it?” He shakes his head. “How could you be with me all this time and still not know that you are the treasure of great price, the pearl that I have sold everything for? The thought of not being with you forever is what convinced me to say yes. I will do it for you and for them (he looks at the sleeping disciples) and for all.”

I touch his face and kiss his wet cheek. I hold his hands and rub the spot where the nails will enter.

Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.
Stay here and keep watch with me.”
  –Matthew 26:38 (NIV)

 

Maundy Thursday reflection:

  • Will you keep Jesus company this week?
  • See what unfolds when you do.
 
Credits:
Gethsemane (The Hour is Near) by Anthony Falbo, 2006. Used with permission.
Written by Esther Hizsa, originally entitled “Stay with Me” published April 16, 2014
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2016
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016  http://www.estherhizsa.com.
Posted in Easter, Holy Week, Ignatian Spirituality, Lent, Praying with the Imagination, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Moving from “Me” to “We”

Palm Sunday 12x9 21 bd 09 SOLD

If I were Jesus riding into Jerusalem, I would have been pretty agitated. Imagine entering the city where you’re about to be betrayed, abandoned, beaten, and killed. How could Jesus remain present to the crowds of joyous people shouting, “Hosanna!”? Before the week is through, another crowd will shout, “Crucify him.” Yet Jesus remains calm as he rides into Jerusalem and is welcomed by hundreds of palm-waving supporters. Yet he seemed to savour the moment.

How does he do that? How does anyone welcome the reality of their life without having the full reality of life rob them of joy? I got an answer to my question at Rob Des Cotes’  Soul Care Retreat.

Rob said, “This is how we tend to go through life.” Then he drew the diagram below (what I call the “me” stance):

diagram 1

“We have a relationship with something–an event, a relationship, a job, a goal, or a problem–and then we ask God to help us or bless what we’re doing. God is somewhere out there a distance from us,” he said.

Then Rob drew a second diagram (the “we” stance):

diagram2“Instead Jesus invites us to re-establish our relationship with God daily then, together with God, relate to everything else in our lives.”

Jesus was able to ride into Jerusalem and lovingly interact with the people around him because his primary relationship was not with his inevitable suffering and death. It was with God. The Lord God was holding Jesus’ right hand and telling him, “Do not fear, I myself am with you. We will face what is ahead together.”

When I think of addressing life this way–from a “we” stance instead of a “me” stance–I feel hopeful and light. I relax. I don’t have to be prepared for every possible outcome when the God of the universe is beside me. I can step back from whatever I’m dealing with and be more present to those around me.

It’s comforting to know I can turn to Jesus at any moment and say, “I’m glad you’re here.”

 For I am the Lord your God
    who takes hold of your right hand
  and says to you, Do not fear;
    I will help you…
  I myself will help you,” declares the Lord,
    your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

 Isaiah 41:13,14 (NIV)

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • What is on your mind right now?
  • How would it be different to address it with God ?
Credits:
This post was originally published on April 12, 2014.
“Palm Sunday” by Brian Whelan. Used with permission.
Rob Des Cotes is the director of Imago Dei Communities in Vancouver.
Palm Frond” (not visible on home page) by Samuel John. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa,An Everyday Pilgrim 2016
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 15, 2015  http://www.estherhizsa.com.
Posted in Easter, Helpful Images, Holy Week, Lent, Rob Des Cotes | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

There You Are

Apostles receiving communion

Okay. Okay. I’m being still. I’m trying to pause between activities and regain my balance. But, I’ll be honest with you, God. It doesn’t feel like a lot’s happening here. I haven’t stopped overeating and Lent is nearly over.

My heart aches with a deep longing to feel God’s presence.

Fred and I walk to church and arrive with time enough to quiet our souls. The church bell rings. We recite prayers, sing hymns and listen to scripture. The words bounce off me like rain on pavement.

Before communion, we turn to those around us and Pass the Peace with a handshake or a hug. I’m about to return to my seat when I hear, “There you are” and am embraced by a gentle man who sits across the aisle from us. His beard presses against my cheek for a second or two.

Tears well up. I replay his divine greeting over in my mind, absorbing the sing-song delight in it: There you are. 

Tears continue to flow as I recognize God in each person there. I line up for communion and God is standing before me and behind me. I kneel down and God kneels beside me. God places Christ’s body in my hands; God offers me the cup.

And I gladly receive it.

st. stephen's people

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.
–St. Patrick

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • Take a moment and look back on the past twenty-four hours. Who encouraged you? Could that be Christ?
  • Take a moment to allow God to look back over the last twenty-four hours of your life. What moment did God notice you being Christ for another?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin Gaffke

There were many unnamed people in the Bible that engaged in love mischief with our Lord: the woman at the well, the widow who gave her last coin, the cleansed leper who returned to give thanks. And there are many ordinary saints, like this fellow who hugged me, who change the world with little acts of love.

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Apostles receiving Communion” by Ted. Used with permission.
“St.Stephen the Martyr Anglican Church, Burnaby” by Rev. Gary Hamblin. Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Lent, Mystical, Overeating, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Get Real Still

Feather 2 Jim Champion

It was easy to pick out our grandson in the line-up of swimmers. The eight-year-old wore a life jacket and was a foot or two shorter than the others. Like those ahead of him, he waited for his turn to try the obstacle course that stretched the length of the pool.

Large blue and grey inflatable tubes, eighteen inches in diameter and two to three feet long, were attached in parallel and perpendicular configurations with a slide at the far end. I watched one swimmer after another attempt to walk on water over this deceptively simple looking course. Nearly every person ended up losing their balance and falling in.

Then it was our grandson’s turn. He dog-paddled out to the first tube and pulled himself onto it. Gingerly, he got to his feet. He paused for a moment then stepped slowly onto one tube then another. When he felt his body waver, he paused until he regained his balance. Then moved on, stepping and pausing from one tube to the next until he scrambled up and slid down the slide at the end.

When he got out of the pool, Fred gave him a high-five.

“How’d you do it?” we asked.

“I got real still inside me,” he replied.

The eight-year-old’s words were just what I needed to hear. In the course of my day, I tackle one obstacle, and before I recover my balance, I’m onto the next. Perhaps that’s why, at day’s end, I feel overwhelmed and just want to watch TV and eat.

What if I paused and got real still before moving onto the next thing in my day? Would it really make a difference?

Well, it’s working for our grandson.

54 Vernon Walk

I have stilled and quieted my soul.
–Psalm 131:2a (NIV 1984) 

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • When was the last time you were still?
  • How did it feel?
  • What would it be like to return there regularly?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

brene-brown-home-360x239

Any social worker that is willing to do research in the area of shame and vulnerability, face her own stuff and talk about it has been up to much love mischief! Brené Brown is that person. I just watched her talk, “The Anatomy of Trust.” So helpful. Catch her Ted talks here. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “Brené Brown, you’re my hero.”

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Feather 2” by Jim Champion. Used with permission.
Quote: “God comes to you, disguised as your life.” is by Paula D’Arcy in Falling Upward by Fr. Richard Rohr.
“Vernon Walk 2015” by Fred Hizsa. Used with permission.
Photo of Brené Brown from her website.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Lent, Mindfulness, Reflections, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Between My Selves

This-lane-ends-sign

I gather up my courage and for the second time talk with my spiritual director about being overweight.

“I’m so confused,” I lament. De Mello says ‘Don’t change.’ Richard Rohr points out that two of the four gospels begin with the call to repent. Lots of people I love are overweight, and I don’t think less of them. And this is the first time I’m not feeling called to give up dessert or junk food for Lent. Instead God is asking me to spend more time in prayer.”

“I don’t like being overweight,” I continue. “It’s not healthy. I see my siblings adjust to the aging process by eating less and working out. But when I try to make these changes, I feel like I’m pushing the river. I know I’m addicted to food, but it’s not like an addiction that involves other people. If I was hurting someone else, I’d stop.”

“But it’s okay to hurt yourself?” she offers gently.

I bite my lip and feel my heart pound.

Once again I picture Jesus with compassion in his eyes, the way he was in the story of the woman caught in the act of adultery. This time he stands between my two selves. His back is to my false self (standing, arms crossed, scowling), while he gives my true self (sitting, barely making eye contact) space and a voice.

I tell my director about my two selves. Among other things, she asks me how I feel about my false self.

“I like her because she gives me permission to do whatever I want and makes sure I’m not being deprived. She reminds me of a good friend I used to have who stood up for me and got me through some difficult years. But that friendship ran its course, and so has this one. I’m glad Jesus is standing between my two selves.”

Now I knew why God was calling me to prayer. In the stillness, God exposes my false self and empowers the only me God created. And that me loves my body and longs to be heard.

Butterfly resting D Wright

May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease
To discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.
–John O’Donohue, A Book of Blessings

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • How do you feel about your body?
  • How does God feel about it?
  • Take a moment and, with God, listen to your body. What does it need today?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

cranky molloscsI am so grateful for fitness coaches like my daughter’s friend, Karina Inkster (left, Heidi on right). In high school Karina and Heidi challenged each other to care for their minds and bodies. They gave up television for a year and read classics. They refused to suntan and stopped eating animal products. To this day, they support each other in their choice to eat sustainably and care for their bodies. They also make great music together.

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
Banner (not visible on home page) “Knit Together” by Kelly Dycavinu © 2011. Used with permission.
“This Lane Ends” courtesy of Best & Worst Ever Photo Blog.
“Butterfly Resting ” (cropped) by D Wright. Used with permission.
“The Cranky Molluscs” by Karina Inkster. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in False Self, Lent, Overeating, Spiritual Direction, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Love Is a Risky Business

Happy Valentine's dayIn the post Undoing My Life, I talked about a time when I kept expecting to be rejected but encountered love and acceptance instead. That experience was wonderful and scary.

As the Rejected One, I protected my heart from the inevitable pain of being discovered to be less than I should be. When God undid that persona, I was able to let down my guard and trust that Deb and Jeff really do love me.

Saying that out loud makes me so vulnerable. What if they don’t love me that much? What if they read this and feel bound by it? And what if they can’t keep loving me?

I’m like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade when he finds himself trapped on the edge of a mountain with a deep chasm below. To get to the other side, he must step out into thin air, trusting there will be something solid under his feet to support him. He takes one step, then another. We hold our breath and watch until he reaches the other side where he hopes to find the Holy Grail. What I hope to find on the other side is a trust in God’s love that is so solid that I’m unafraid of rejection.

But to get there, I must teeter in mid-air–heart pounding, hands trembling–relying on the faith to believe I really am loved.

I don’t know which comes first. Does an experience of God’s love enable us to be vulnerable with others? Or does being loved by others open us to God? Either way, whether it’s trusting an invisible Deity or somewhat unreliable human beings, love is a risky business.

But I’ve said it before, I’m not going back. Not to Egypt and not to the security of being the Rejected One.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
–Hebrews 11:1.

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • What happened this week that opened you to love?
  • What made you want to guard your heart?
  • Spend time talking with God about both experiences. How do you feel about what happened? How do you imagine God feels?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin GaffkeOver a thousand customers have “shopped” at New Life’s Community Free Store of Children’s Clothing (and other items for children) since it opened in 2009. Seventy-five volunteers from the surrounding area–diverse in ethnicity, belief and background–work regularly to sort donations and/or run the store two mornings a week. The Free Store has helped refugees, new immigrants, and those on low incomes make ends meet as well as helping customers in any income bracket live more sustainably. The Free Store cares for the earth by making it easy for parents to reuse clothing and by keeping thousands of pounds of used clothing out of landfills. “Loving others the way Jesus loves us,” is the store’s motto. “Everyone gets that,” says volunteer manager, Wendy Holland. “I’m totally stoked by how I have seen lives changed by the love and generosity of donors and volunteers.”


What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Happy Valentine’s Day” by Elisa. Used with permission.
Photo of painting of knights attempting a leap of faith to reach the Holy Grail (from the feature film Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) by Mary Harrsch. Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Lent, Popular Posts, Reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Caught in the Act

The religious leaders were ready to stone her. But Jesus defended the woman caught in the act of adultery. “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her,” he said. One by one they dropped their stones and left.

I easily imagine myself as that woman. Regularly I am unfaithful to Love in thought, word or deed. As soon as I see what I’ve done, a whole gang of religious critics in my head are ready to stone me. But Jesus intervenes with de Mello’s words, “Leave yourself alone.”

He sits on the ground with me and waits for the critics to leave. I see tenderness in his eyes. “Where are they?” he says. “No one condemns you?”

“No one.”

“Neither do I.”

It takes a minute for his words to sink in. I am loved just as I am: unchanged.

But I know how the story goes. I prepare myself for this grace to be short-lived. Like a chameleon, Jesus is about to become like all the other religious leaders and scold me. He’s going to tell me to leave my life of sin. Fat chance of that.

But when Jesus speaks, I don’t hear, Stop being so bad. I hear, Go ahead, you can leave your life of sin. You don’t need it.

Common Grace

To illustrate his point, I am reminded of the play I just saw at Pacific Theatre. In Common Grace, Colleen has had an affair with Mark, a married man. Her sisters, mother, pastor, and Mark’s wife all tell her–with and without expletives–how this affair has hurt them. Yet Colleen remains unaffected by their speeches. Mark is her one true love, and she still dreams of a life with him. But when she unexpectedly experiences acceptance, she is confused. With this taste of real love, suddenly Mark’s is less desirable.

In the play of my life, I say to Jesus, “I see now how it works. Your Love is real, exposing other ‘loves’  that are counterfeit. Then, theoretically, I won’t want them anymore. But there’s a trick. It’s not thinking about love, or knowing I am loved that frees me. It’s allowing myself to be loved. And that’s &#%!@? scary.”

Wait a minute. That last line isn’t in the script. Where did that come from?

Common+Grace+1

 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.  In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”  They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.  Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
PUT_CHARACTERS_bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbHERE
–John 8:2-11

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • How do you feel about experiencing God’s love?
  • What do you hope for?
  • What scares you?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

PT logo

Pacific Theatre aspires to delight, provoke and stimulate dialogue by producing theatre that rigorously explores the spiritual aspects of human experience. In over 30 seasons, Pacific Theatre has produced more than 120 professional mainstage productions ranging from established works to original world premieres featuring some of the top theatre artists from Vancouver and across the continent.” Thanks to Ron Reed, founding artistic director, and the PT community for over thirty seasons of love mischief!

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Stones” by Clint Mason on banner (not visible on home page). Used with permission.
Image of Shauna Johannesen and Robert Garry Haacke in Common Grace by Shauna Johannesen, courtesy of Pacific Theatre.
Image of Julie Lynn Mortensen, Cara Cunningham, Shauna Johannesen, and Kerri Norris, in Common Grace by Shauna Johannesen, courtesy of Pacific Theatre.
Information about Pacific Theatre is from their website.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Lent, Popular Posts, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Glory Led Me Here

The_Death_of_Moses_(crop)The last blossom on my Christmas cactus fell weeks ago. For forty days vibrant pink glory adorned the room where I pray, write, and offer spiritual direction. But now that glory is gone.

I think of the Israelites. For forty years they beheld God’s presence–cloud by day, fire by night–until they entered the Promised Land. Soon afterwards they woke up and the cloud was gone. No quail, no manna, no Moses. And at night? Only darkness.

I feel their loneliness; I feel mine. I know God is here, but I don’t see or sense God’s presence. I hear nothing but the clock ticking.

God is silent, but in this foreign land I am given a new rule.

“Don’t change. Change is impossible, and even if it were possible, it is undesirable. Stay as you are. Love yourself as you are. And change, if it is at all possible, will take place by itself if and when it wants. Leave yourselves alone. The only growth-promoting change is that which comes from self-acceptance.”
PUT_CHARACTERS_HERE–Anthony de Mello, S.J.

Once I hear these words, there’s no going back to Egypt, to a life of slavery and toil. I’m done with trying to fix myself. De Mello isn’t condoning bad behaviour; he’s inviting me to love myself the way God loves me: unconditionally. And out of that love, whatever is not loving in me will fall away.

This truth resonates deeply in my soul, opening doors, setting me free. The blossoms, cloud and fire led me here, to this land flowing with milk and honey, grace and mercy, and peace, peace, peace in every direction, as far as my eyes can see.

Kite

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
–John 8:32

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • Where are you with God? In Egypt, wandering in the desert, or in a new land?
  • How is God loving you here?
  • What would it be like to “leave yourself alone” and join God in loving yourself as you are right now?

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Antoni-de-melo

“Wake up!” Anthony de Mello, a master at love mischief, joyfully encouraged everyone. Until his sudden death on June 2, 1987, Jesuit priest, Fr. Tony was the director of the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counselling near Poona, India. Author of five best-selling books, renowned worldwide for his workshops, retreats, and prayer courses, he aimed simply to teach people how to pray, and how to wake up and live.


What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“The Death of Moses,” as in Deuteronomy 34:1-12, illustration from a Bible card published 1907 by the Providence Lithograph Company. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Anthony de Mello quote in A Life of Being, Having, and Doing Enough by Wayne Muller, 2011.
“Kite” by Kinshuk Sunil. Used with permission.
Information about Anthony de Mello from De Mello Spirituality Centre; photo from Wikimedia commons.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Ignatian Spirituality, Lent, Mystical, Reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Ash Wednesday

pilgrim shell and boots

Pilgrimage

Ash Wednesday
He’s on the road
PUT waiting for me

today we begin
a forty day walk
to Jerusalem

I lace up my shoes
and follow
PUT from a safe distance

but it’s bound to happen
His eyes will catch mine
and I must summon the courage
PUTnot to look away

for in His loving gaze
questions arise
PUTmemories
PUT
hopes

PUTand fears

and we will
carry them all
PUT to Jerusalem

*

Brian Whelan

 Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. – Luke 9:51

 

Questions for your Lenten pilgrimage:

  • Where have you seen Jesus on the road?
  • What are you carrying?
Credits:
Photo of hiking boots and scallop shell on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela from Paulo Coehlo forum. Labelled for reuse.
“Pilgrimage of Sight” by Brian Whelan was featured in explore, a magazine from the Ignatian Centre of Jesuit Education in Santa Clara California. The painting is owned by the vicar of Blythburgh Church in Suffolk, UK. Used here with permission.
“Pilgrimage” by Esther Hizsa from Stories of an Everyday Pilgrim, 2015.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2016
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in Lent, Poetry, Stories of an Everyday Pilgrim | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments