Category Archives: Aging

On My Dad’s Passing

Posted on August 2, 2024 by Esther Hizsa

We left the hospitalto let my dad rest.Before we could return,the doctor called.with the news of his passing. I should have been there. The dull ache of regretlingers even thoughI have all the right words to release it. Regret,blame, disappointment,guilt, … Continue reading →

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Message Received

Posted on May 3, 2024 by Esther Hizsa

I stood by the mail roomwaiting for Mom and Dad to come down on the elevator,and she saw me again.Yvonne smiled and said something funny–I can’t remember what–then she pausedand told me againwhat a great job I’m doinglooking after my … Continue reading →

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Appearances

Posted on April 12, 2024 by Esther Hizsa

The same day I resigned myself to watching, waitingand being with my longingYou saw me. I was accompanying my mom to her suite,and the first resident I met at the seniors’ home caught my eye.I saw in her face what … Continue reading →

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On That Day

Posted on November 17, 2023 by Esther Hizsa

People were eating, drinking, marrying and being given in marriage up to the day Noah entered the ark. Then the flood came and destroyed them all. …  It will be just like this on the day the Son of Man … Continue reading →

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Surrender

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Esther Hizsa

Yesterday, there wasanother letting go.What I wanted was set aside for the good of someone else. This morning, there was another noticingof how dark and dull another life would beif I were not here to lift the blinds or change the batteries. … Continue reading →

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Rhythm and Rest

Posted on October 14, 2023 by Esther Hizsa

I was amazed to discoverhow much I could accomplish–without a good night’s sleepor morning quiet time–when I had to. Then, help came and nowI don’t have to.I get to rest. I’ve returned hometo familiar faces, spaces, and silence.  You were there,being … Continue reading →

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In the Valley of the Shadow of Death

Posted on September 30, 2023 by Esther Hizsa

When we imagine surrendering our life to God, we often brace ourselves for unwanted change. Of course, we do, fearful creatures that we are. But after I asked God to take and receive my life at the end of my … Continue reading →

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Caregivers

Posted on September 15, 2023 by Esther Hizsa

I have been an independent womandoing what I like since I became an adult. Then suddenly I becamea caregiver.Now, my life is not my own.My thoughts are about someone else–their needs, their health. Life as I knew it was swept off … Continue reading →

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Less

Posted on June 9, 2023 by Esther Hizsa

I feel gratefulon sunny dayswhen more is given than I hoped for or imagined. But not so much on days that are less than great,with tedious moments and stress,disappointmentsand sadnessI can’t escape. I want to change the channel,change the scenery,change everyone … Continue reading →

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Playing My Hand

Posted on April 29, 2022 by Esther Hizsa

Once I acknowledged that I was on the ADHD spectrum, I saw things I could do to make life easier for myself and those around me. For example, I stuck a post-it note on the inside of our front door: … Continue reading →

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