It was comical, really.
The day before my mother died,
there was a clatter.
Clear as a bell, my mom,
who hadn’t eaten or spoken for days, called out,
“Come in!”
“I just dropped something on the floor, ” I said.
“Come in!” she said again
and went back to sleep.
I return to the moment she took her final breath,
enter into the scene like an Ignatian prayer, a repetition.
I picture Jesus welcoming my 92-year-old mother home.
I picture my dad and mom as they were on the day Mom arrived in Canada–
she 19, he 24–in a hesitant and tender embrace.
We watch one joyful reunion after another.
“We” being my six-year-old mother and me.
I have loved this child for two-and-a-half years–
fed her chips and chocolate,
told her stories,
showed her pet videos on YouTube,
held her hand and kissed her.
Now, with her little hand in mine,
we see her mother, her father, everyone she ever knew
who couldn’t love her
the way she needed to be loved,
the way they wanted to
but now,
now they are whole.
Now, they are free.
Now, she is coming home to the love
that her big heart was too afraid to hope for.
“Mom, you don’t need to say
‘It’s okay’ and ‘Never mind’ anymore.
It was never okay.”
She squeezes my hand
and the tears that have been locked away
for a lifetime
roll down her cheeks.
“You see,
it’s different now, ” I say.
“We love you.
We always have
and always will. “
She wipes her tears on her sleeve
and looks at Jesus.
He has crouched down
and waits.
“Coming in?” he says.
She nods and slowly releases my hand.
“Come in,” she calls out
to everyone in heaven and earth.
“Come in!”
Heidi Martha Frehner (Mueller) May 19, 1933-January 28, 2026, Age 6
I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
–John 14:3 (NIV)
An Everyday Pilgrim 
Bless you EstherWh
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