Resurrection 
isn’t just about living forever.
It’s about living now
and how we pick up our cross,
go through death
and become
a new revised version of ourselves.
Resurrection is personal.

I remember the Easter I entered the tomb
after denying Christ in me three times.
Three times I was Judas.

I can go through periods of time
when I’m the beloved disciple
people want to be around
and wonder if the part of me
that can be so insensitive
so unkind
so hurtful
has finally died.
I want to believe this shiny new me
is here to stay.

Then the dreaded thing happens
again, and again, and again,
and I realized that
the transformation I desire is not happening.
It likely never will.

I spent three days in darkness
letting go of the hope
that I will learn from my mistakes,
and finally become
the person I wish I could be.

In the light of dawn,
a new thought emerged from the tomb.

I wondered
what it would be like
to love that dark part of me
even when other people can’t,

to stand with her when she feels the pain she caused,
hold her when she sees her mistake,
and forgive her
seven times seventy times,

to release her from the expectation
that this can never happen again.

And now I know.
Now I know
peace.

Credits and References:
“Resurrection of Lazarus” by Andrey Mironov 2011, CC licence via Wikimedia Commons
“Resurrection Is Personal” by Esther Hizsa, first published April 17, 2022, revised in 2025.

© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com