What My Heart Wanted to Hear


A friend asked
if I had written any poems about

I hadn’t.

Then I listened to
Brad Aaron Modlin’s poem
What You Missed That Day You Were Absent from Fourth Grade
and Pádraig Ó Tuama talk about it.

Tears came to my eyes.
I didn’t feel

Someone else
missed out.
Someone else
didn’t know.
Someone else
had to find out on their own that
they were enough.

I didn’t know I was
until this me-too
came along.

Now I know that
loneliness feels like
not being at home in your own house
not knowing how to pump gas or peel potatoes
being lost in the dark
and forgetting the sound of a loved one’s voice.

Loneliness is waking up to find
there is no Mrs Nelson
or even worse.
There is
but you were absent the day she said everything
your heart wanted to hear.

Thank God for poems.

They are Mrs Nelson.
They come
to where you are.

With That Moon Language

Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them,
“Love me.”
Of course you do not do this out loud;
someone would call the cops.
Still though, think about this,
this great pull in us
to connect.
Why not become the one
who lives with a full moon in each eye
that is always saying,
with that sweet moon
what every other eye in this world
is dying to

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Image result for on being podcast

 Poetry Unbound is a new series from On Being that invites you to “immerse yourself in a single poem, guided by Pádraig Ó Tuama. Short and unhurried; contemplative and energizing. Anchor your week by listening to the everyday poetry of your life, with new episodes on Monday and Friday during the season.” Pádraig Ó Tuama, is a poet and theologian who leads the Corrymeela community of Northern Ireland, an ecumenical community dedicated to reconciliation.

What love mischief are you and God doing for the world?
Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Lonely Leaf” by Rob. Used with permission.
“With that Moon Language” by Hafiz (1325–1389) translated by Daniel Ladinsky in Love Poems from God, 2002. Used with permission.
“Loneliness” by Alice Popkorn. Used with permission.
On Being logo Ghz89med [CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)%5D
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2020.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2020.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

About Esther Hizsa

Esther is a spiritual director and writer. She lives in Burnaby with her husband, Fred, and they have two grown children and two grandchildren.
This entry was posted in Childhood, compassion, Poetry, Reflections and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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