A New Year’s Wish

It’s a new year and I would love to leave my old identity behind.

Remember the post about how God asked me to let go of my identity as the Rejected One? The undoing of it continues whenever I feel rejected.

I hate it when that happens and always want to do something about it, so I never feel that way again. But in my last spiritual direction session, I was invited to look for what God was already doing.

Reading Asterix

Soon afterwards our eight-year-old grandchildren, Hannah and Hadrian, had a sleep-over at our place. They’ve been coming regularly for years and look forward to it. But the previous time they were here, long after Hannah fell asleep, Hadrian was still awake.

“I miss Mom and Dad,” he said. He squeezed his eyelids shut and put his fingers over them to hold back the tears. “I want to go home.”

Even after he talked with both parents on the phone, he couldn’t be consoled. He put on his coat over his pyjamas, and Fred took him home.

This time when our grandkids were over, Hadrian came out of his room at ten o’clock. Once again he held back tears as he talked with Heidi on the phone. He hung up and said bravely, “I’m going to stay.”

Fred lay down with him for a while. Eventually he fell asleep.

Because of his autism, Hadrian finds intense feelings like anger and excitement difficult to contain. He is compelled to do something to get them out of his body. Now we realized loneliness had a similar effect. It was hard for him to just let the feeling pass.

Though Hadrian may not have been aware of it, God was with him, holding him while it did.

And God is also with me, holding me as the feeling of rejection passes too.


When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
–Isaiah 43:2

∗ ∗ ∗

Love Mischief for the World

Love by Dustin Gaffke

Here’s some touching love mischief 19-year-old Erica’s been up to in Calgary, Alberta. http://calgaryherald.com/health/family-child/from-hardscrabble-to-scrabble-thanks-to-the-alex. Erica, you are awesome!

What love mischief are you and God doing to care for the earth?
 Let me know and I will include it in an upcoming post.

Credits and References:
“Good Shepherd” from  St John the Baptist Anglican Church, Ashfield, New South Wales. Image from Wikipedia Commons.
“Hadrian and Hannah” by Fred Hizsa. Used with permission.
“Love” by Dustin Gaffke. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2016.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

About Esther Hizsa

Esther is a spiritual director and writer. She lives in Burnaby with her husband, Fred, and they have two grown children and two grandchildren.
This entry was posted in Reflections, Spiritual Direction, Stories and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to A New Year’s Wish

  1. Anonymous says:

    Beautiful. Bless you and your family as you love and care for one another.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dave Small says:

    Thanks for the great post Esther. Happy New Year.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Esther Hizsa says:

    Thanks, Dave. Happy New Year to you too.


  4. glen grunau says:

    Esther, just moments after reading your post referring to your identity as “the rejected one” I read Isaiah 62:1-5. Perhaps for me and for you! Check it out!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Esther Hizsa says:

    Thanks, Glen. I love that passage. What strikes me, as I read it again now, is that it is for Zion’s sake that God will not be silent. It is for the good of the community that you and I and others who are rejected are vindicated.

    Recently, that rascal God, caught me in my judgment of someone. God pinned my feet to the floor and wouldn’t let me move until I listened to what this person was saying. What I heard showed me the depth of their insight and compassion. As the person spoke, I could feel God rejoicing over them.

    Incidents like that help me believe God does the same for us all. And that’s pretty cool.

    Here is Isaiah 62:1-5 (NRSV)

    For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent,
    and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not rest,
    until her vindication shines out like the dawn,
    and her salvation like a burning torch.
    The nations shall see your vindication,
    and all the kings your glory;
    and you shall be called by a new name
    that the mouth of the Lord will give.
    You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord,
    and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
    You shall no more be termed Forsaken,
    and your land shall no more be termed Desolate;
    but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her,
    and your land Married;
    for the Lord delights in you,
    and your land shall be married.
    For as a young man marries a young woman,
    so shall your builder marry you,
    and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
    so shall your God rejoice over you.


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