Will I Open My Heart to God?

 Blessed Trinity,
I receive your love, your presence and this day as a gift from you.
I open my heart to you.
Please lead me deeper into your transforming love
as we live these next hours together.

Amaryliss Opening up by Bill Gracie

Every morning, along with others in our dispersed SoulStream community, I say this prayer. The first sentence tells us what God does. All Three Persons of the Trinity love us, remain with us, and give us each day.

The second line, the line I most often forget to say, reminds me of what I must do: open my heart to God. But will I do it?

I picture myself opening up my heart. Inside is my life, not as I’d like it to be, but as it is. I feel anxious, like I did that day the minister came to visit and asked to use the washroom. The main one was occupied and before I could stop Fred, he ushered the reverend into our bedroom and into the ensuite bathroom–the only two rooms I hadn’t cleaned.

Opening our hearts to receive anyone’s presence is a risky business. Inevitably they will find our grimy edges and be tempted to judge us. And sometimes they do.

It takes courage to let Jesus wander around your house. But when I am brave enough to invite him in, I am often surprised by what he notices and how he responds.

Like the time I had an argument with someone. It was days before I could meet Jesus at the door and look him in the eye. He noticed my apprehension and said softly, “I know why you’ve been avoiding me. You think I’ll take his side.”

Amaryliss- a work in progressAs soon as I began to pray, I knew it was true. I sat with that thought in the spacious silence until the din of fear receded, and it was quiet enough to hear God’s heart.

I asked Jesus what he saw.

The Holy Spirit stirred in my belly, sending a warmth into my chest. My shoulders and arms relaxed. I felt how important it was to God that I had spoken up for myself and been heard. I knew it without a doubt.

As I sat longer with Jesus, I also understood what the other person was trying to say and why he was angry.

In the last line of the prayer, I ask the Triune God to lead us deeper into his transforming love as we live in this world together. And I can see that is exactly what God was doing.

Photo Credits:
Morning Prayer of the SoulStream Community written by Karen Webber. Used with permission.
“Amaryliss Opening Up” by Bill Gracey. Used with permission.
“Amaryliss” by Bill Gracey. Used with permission. 
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013 http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.

About Esther Hizsa

Esther is a spiritual director and writer. She lives in Burnaby with her husband, Fred, and they have two grown children and two grandchildren.
This entry was posted in Mystical, Prayer, Stories and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Will I Open My Heart to God?

  1. Pingback: Here? Again?! | An Everyday Pilgrim

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