I told my spiritual director
about the deep grief
that overwhelmed me after my surgery
and my grief returned
quietly with tears.

We listened
–You, my spiritual director and I–
to that tender part of me
and heard
what was lost,
how it felt,
and what it feared.

After a while, I sensed it felt
comforted and
safe again.

“What do you need,” I asked my grief.

“To live closer to the surface,
to be more easily heard,
and felt,” it told me.

I had said to my brother
when I got home from the hospital,
“I suppose it’s a gift to experience this.
It’s not like you can schedule grief in, say
on Tuesday at four o’clock, I’m going to have a good cry.”

No, we can’t schedule it in
but I can listen for grief gently knocking,
notice the wisps of tears
forming in my chest,
and take a moment to gather them in
like a hen gathers her chicks
instead of brushing them away
like unwanted crumbs
with tidy, hopeful admonitions.

No, we can’t schedule grief in,
only welcome it when it comes,
and be with it so it isn’t all alone.

But if we could schedule a time to grieve,
it would be today,
Holy Saturday,
that long, painful day between
Your dying and rising.

Today is the day for
gathering chicks
and letting tears fall.

Credits and References:
Scheduling a Time to Grieve by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
See the post on April 11 The Healing Power of Compassion for the back story to this post.

© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com