Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil.
–Luke 4:1,2 (NIV)

Three mornings in a row,
I wake from vivid dreams
of what I fear most.

Three mornings in a row,
I close my eyes, still my body,
and meet these ghostly fears
in the wilderness with Jesus.

As we listen to the tempters,
we notice a three-year-old behind them
who has her back to us.
She’s singing and playing in the sand.
As we approach, she braces herself
for an attack.

But when Jesus calls her name,
she recognizes his voice.
It’s his song she sings.
He’s the invisible friend she plays with.
She turns and runs into his arms.

This young part of me
survived
by turning stones into bread,
bowing down to hate,
and throwing herself off a cliff
again and again.

He holds her.
Tears stream down their cheeks.
“I got lost,” she says.
“Yes, and I found you,” he answers, stroking her delicate hair.
“Would you like to come home with me?”

She feels her body soften.

“What’s your home like?” she asks as we walk.

“In my home,
you can make mistakes,
and don’t have to hide.
When your sandcastle gets smashed,
we build a better one,
and if someone hates you,
you don’t have to hate yourself.
We laugh, sing, play
and cry a lot.”

“Crybaby,” she says and pokes him.

“Uh-huh. I’m a crybaby, too.”

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart.
–Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)

Come and retreat with me.
In person:
I am co-facilitating a weekend retreat on Bowen Island, B.C. Feb 21-23, 2025
On line:
Interested in exploring Ignatian spirituality? My friend and colleague Jan Evans and I are leading a silent Ignatian weekend retreat online March 28-30 Peace and Chaos: Journeying with Christ through It All. Registration is open for SoulStream’s Ignatian Spiritual Exercises Retreat in Daily Life 2025-26, also co-facilitated by Jan and me.

Credits and References:
Image of wilderness from PxHere Creative Commons.
Cry Baby by Esther Hizsa, 2025
Painting of Jesus carrying a little girl by Christian Asuh

© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com