Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know and never be the same?
–John L. Bell, The Summons
On the fifth morning after moving into the seniors’ residence,
my dad enjoyed getting dressed without something going wrong.
My mom set herself up in her recliner
(adjusting the cushion,
moving the footstool into place,
shifting her 4’10” body back,
kicking the stool out of the way
and raising her feet)
all on her own.
I slept through the night.
Today,
there are no appointments to go to,
no nurse,
telephone technician,
or housekeeper arriving.
The sun is shining,
and Dad has done the dishes.
Today,
I am not sobbing in the lobby
because I don’t know where my mother has gone.
I don’t have to ask the kitchen staff to adjust the menu.
I am not learning about a new drug and what it does to the body.
Today,
I am going for a walk
knowing
that this is harder than I thought,
better than I thought,
and I am in the right place.
Even here your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
–Psalm 139:10 (NIV, adapted)
An Everyday Pilgrim 
A friend of mine has recently had to make the same decision as you. He had been caring for a severely alcoholic friend who was dying of liver failure, and had been sleeping on a mattress in my friend’s living-room, barely waking long enough for us to coax him to drink some fluids and a nutrient drink, or to expel waste. The medical services had been saying that he would probably die within a day or so, but the palliative care organisations were offering to send a care team to help maybe in a week or two. Yesterday, my friend finally called an ambulance to take his sick friend to hospital. He and I, and the patient’s girlfriend, have all been in to visit wherever possible, but my friend feels that his friend won’t forgive him for sending him to hospital after promising that he wouldn’t. But on the other hand, at least the patient is now getting the professional nursing care he needs (he was put on a drip as soon as he arrived – it was that bad), so I think it was the right decision to make – as it was for you.
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Thanks for sharing that. So hard. May you all be given strength and peace as you walk alongside each other.
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