I was all packed and ready to go. But not quite. I needed to go over a couple of sessions I would lead during the Living from the Heart course one more time. Now I had a spacious hour that Friday morning to do just that.
My practice is to review my notes by rehearsing what I plan to say. Although my plants listen intently, they give me no feedback. But my heart does. I often hear something that falls flat, shed a tear, or make a new connection between what I’m sharing and my lived experience.
But that morning, I heard myself rushing through the material and not entering into it. I was excited and anxious about the weekend, looking forward to what would unfold and nervous about any unforeseen challenges.
Typically, whenever I find myself in an unsettled state, I give up and go do something else. But there was nothing else I needed to do. As I got up to leave my study, I pictured myself fussing for an hour. That was so unattractive that I sat down again and asked God to help me. I took a few calming breaths and returned to my preparation.
At first, it felt like setting up a picnic in a train station. Eventually, my noisy nerves settled down, and I could enter into the joy of speaking out loud what was alive for me.
That was a win for me, a watershed moment, a little resurrection story of my own. Although my plants remain silent witnesses, I see them celebrating a new leaf of their own.
In returning and rest, you will be saved.
In quietness and trust you will find strength.
–Isaiah 30:15 (Voice)
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Eastertide Reflection 5
Take a moment to return and rest in God. As you sit in silence, invite the Holy Spirit to show you a resurrection moment of your own. Where have you experienced new growth or new freedom, no matter how small? If, at first, all that comes to mind are your failures or places where you are still stuck, allow the Holy Spirit to comfort and assure you that God is not judging or criticizing you. That is not Love’s way. Keep breathing and listening for how God is giving you life. No doubt, there was a win in your life, too, that you can celebrate with God. The fact that you are reading this speaks to the fruit of a holy desire.