A Wondrous Thought

Posted on December 5, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

Pietro-Annigoni-Cristina-IAfter the angel Gabriel’s visit, Mary woke to a new reality.

The pondering of her heart emerged on her lips as she washed the dishes and passed by the beggars on her way to fetch water.

“My soul glorifies the Lord,” she sang to herself. “He has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away. From now on, all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me.” The Saviour is in me! What a wondrous thought.

But weeks passed and nothing changed. Mary began to wonder if it had all been a dream, until one morning a wave of nausea propelled her out of bed just in time. She threw up in the garden, then leaned against the clay brick wall, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as perspiration cooled her brow.

It happened the next day and the next. Mary hadn’t dreamt it; she was pregnant with God’s Son. That first Advent, Mary wasn’t waiting for Christ to come. He was already there, her growing belly a testimony.

In our Advent, we, like Israel, cry, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget us forever? How long will you hide your face from us?” We keep looking for God to come in power and fill the hungry with good things. Meanwhile, the Holy Spirit has already overshadowed us, seeding Christ in us.

And now it is God who is waiting for us. God waits for us to awaken to a new reality, a wondrous thought that Christ is in us, with us, and for us.

We are being filled full of God.

I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. –Ephesians 3:18-20 (The Message)

Credits and references:
“Cristina I” by Pietro Annigoni, 1910-1988.
Advent 2 by grosskopf_photography Used with permission.
Psalm 13:1; Luke 1: 26-38, 43, 48,49,53 (NIV), Ephesians 3:19
“A Wondrous Thought” was originally published on this blog in 2014 and in Seed Cracked Open in 2019.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.
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Waiting

Posted on November 28, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

What if the one you are waiting for never comes?

It was only choir practice at the little United Church a mile away. My friend Edith and I were thirteen years old and proud to be the youngest members. Every Thursday, at seven-forty-five, after a couple in our church had milked their cows and changed their clothes, they would pull into our driveway to give me a ride.

That winter evening, at seven-forty, I got ready and waited in the kitchen. Ten minutes later, I was overheating and took off my toque and mitts. Five minutes after that, I needed to use the bathroom but didn’t dare leave my post. We would be late now, and they’d be in a hurry when they arrived.

At eight o’clock, a car drove by in the opposite direction. I watched the red taillights disappear down the gravel road.

At eight-fifteen, I took off my coat and boots and headed upstairs to my room.

“I thought you were going to the church,” my dad said.

“My ride didn’t come,” I replied. “I guess they forgot about me.”

I must not be that important, I thought and added that thought to all the other evidence I had collected that proved I didn’t matter.

For years after that Thursday night, waiting for anyone made me nervous. Finally, I learned to have a backup plan, even if it was only telling myself it wouldn’t be the end of me if they didn’t come.

This Sunday, Advent begins. It’s a whole season of waiting, and I am thrilled. I am thrilled because I know the One I am waiting for will come. He always does.

For hundreds of years, Israel waited for their Messiah. Finally, he came. The angel Gabriel announced the good news to a young virgin named Mary. She became pregnant by the Holy Spirit and gave birth to the Saviour of the world in Bethlehem, just as the prophets said.

Jesus came to earth because we matter. His Spirit remains with us now because we always will.

The people walking in darkness
    have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
    a light has dawned…
For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
           — Isaiah 9:2,6

Credits:
Advent 1 by grosskopf_photography Used with permission.
“Riding into the Sunset” by Wes Peck. Used with permission.
“Waiting” was originally published on this blog in 2014 and in Seed Cracked Open in 2019. 
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025  http://www.estherhizsa.wordpress.com.

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When Love Happens

Posted on November 19, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

To love
and be loved.
We were made for this.
Love created the earth, the stars, the seas.
Everything and everyone was made of You,
from Love
by Love,
for Love.

Love is the one thing needed,
the command that keeps all others.

To see what love does–
there is no greater miracle,
no greater need.

So when Love happened,
as it did last week,
I didn’t have to imagine Your gratitude,
I felt it.

When we held the sadness
of a devastating loss, a marriage ended, a costly accident,
when we celebrated the gift of loving leadership
that transformed a community,
when the clouds of pain parted
and a ninety-two year old got to be herself
and know, in a way she never knew before,
what it feels like to be cherished–

it’s a wonder to behold,
a gift deeply treasured, 
a hope restored. 

Lord, my God when Your love spilled over
into creation
You thought of me.
I am from love of love for love.
–Jacqueline S Bergan and S Marie Schwan,
Take and Receive Series

Credits and References:
Best Friends by  Thomas Leuthard. Used with permission. 
When Love Happens by Esther Hizsa, 2025
Painting of girls by Jessie Wilcox Smith (September 6, 1863 – May 3, 1935)
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

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A Walk with Rod Part 2

Posted on November 8, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

Hey friends,
Remember when I wrote about my mom loving me the way I wanted to be loved the day after I went for a walk with a friend and talked about accepting that she loves me the way she does? Well, this is a video of that conversation.

In that conversation I talked about the dream my dad had before he died. I wrote about that here.

© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

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Colloquy 2*

Posted on November 1, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

I awoke to find a blanket of yellow 
covering the lawn. 
Other fading leaves still clung to the tree. 
Eventually, they would tire, 
loosen their grip 
and be vulnerable 
to the next brisk breeze. 

Then, my dear tree will stand 
naked 
while rain pelts, 
winds push and pull 
and snow alights her branches, 
chilling her to the bone. 

Does she dig in her roots, 
hold her bark together 
until spring comes 
to resurrect life again? 

Or does she exhale in the wonder 
that, for a season, 
she provides an unobstructed view 
of the sky? 

Or maybe, 
as she braces and lets go, 
braces and lets go, 
she speaks, 
to her Creator, 
–also suffering on a cross–  
as one friend speaks to another, 
about dying, 
desire
and grace.

*A colloquy, according to Ignatius of Loyola, is a conversation with God, friend to friend, from the heart. — The Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola


In one section of the Spiritual Exercises, Ignatius invites us to feel sorrow for the ways sin has impacted us personally and globally, recognize our complicity in the web of evil, and wonder that God has not given up on us. Even now, Christ is healing and reconciling everything.

In Annotation 54, Ignatius directs us to colloquy with Jesus on the cross. In the past, that seemed impossible to me, when I saw him as the victim of my folly and felt flooded with guilt and shame. But I no longer see Jesus blaming me, nor do I believe Jesus had to appease an angry God to atone for my sin. This time, I felt I couldn’t talk with Jesus on the cross because I didn’t want to bother him with my stuff while he was in so much pain.

So I spoke with Jesus about this, as one friend to another. Then I saw that Christ does not minimize my suffering. We are co-sufferers. God sees that we, too, are on a cross of suffering because of what’s been done to us and what we keep doing that we wish we wouldn’t. God doesn’t take that lightly or leave us alone in it. –Esther

Credits and References:
High Park Leaves 8-Willow  by Joan O’Sullivan. Used with permission.
Colloquy 2 by Esther Hizsa, 2025
(You can find Colloquy 1 by Esther Hizsa, 2023 here.)
Winter branches by Pickpic. Royalty free.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

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Our Stories

Posted on October 25, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

The very thing I think I can’t tell you 
is what I need to. 
The very thing I fear will bring 
judgment and rejection, 
brings compassion and connection instead. 

Sharing our stories, 
being vulnerable, 
being needy, afraid, hurt and discombobulated 
and not having to hide it, 
not having to fix it, 
not having to be it– 
Can you imagine such freedom? 

Oh, there are those 
who will judge us, 
call us self-absorbed. 
Let them. 
They heard our stories, 
and they can’t unhear them now. 
It’s too late. 
Love has slipped in 
and set the captive free. 

You can survive on your own; you can grow strong on your own;
you can prevail on your own; but you cannot become human on your own.
–Frederick Buechner,  
Listening to Your Life: Daily Meditations with Frederick Buechner

Credits and References:
Today’s post was inspired by a conversation on the Collective Trauma Summit between Thomas Hübl and Cheryl Strayed.
Birds on a Wire by Julie Falk. Used with permission.
Our Stories by Esther Hizsa, 2025
Freedom by Erick Bethlehem. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025. 
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
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A Walk with Rod

Posted on October 21, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

My friend Rod Janz and I went for a walk on the Okanagan Rail Trail in Vernon. Here is some of our conversation. (The title photo is of Fred and me in Banff National Park.)

By the way, you can find the blog post about belonging that I was referring to in our conversation here. You can find a Living from the Heart podcast (in which Rod interviewed Brent Unrau and me talking about belonging) here.

One more detail. The snake in the photo looked way bigger than it actually was. (Otherwise you would have seen a way bigger reaction!)

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The Story Isn’t Over

Posted on October 11, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

The day after I walked with a friend
and lamented about
my journey of letting go of
how I wish my mother would love me 
and accepting how she does, 
she had an up day. 

Her brain was back. 
She was full of vitality 
and questions. 
She wanted to know about her pills, 
why she woke feeling nauseated 
and what she could do about it. 
She asked her caregiver where she lived 
and enjoyed hearing about the birds she saw that morning.

She wanted to know about me.
How was I settling into Vernon? 
How did the sale and purchase of homes go? 
Did I want any of her furniture?

When I drove her home after a visit to our new place, 
she smiled and said,
“All the time I drove on this street, I never dreamed 
you would be living here.” 

She loved me 
the way I love to be loved.
And now I have to change the story 
I tell myself. 

You remember us, O Beloved, as we journey through life;
help us to live the Mystery.
—Psalm 106:4, Nan C Merrill, Psalms for Praying

Credits and References: 
Scenery around Rattlesnake Point, Kalamalka Lake Provincial Park, Vernon, BC by Adam Jones. Used with permission. 
The Story Isn’t Over by Esther Hizsa, 2025
Easter with Mom by Fred Hizsa
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

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Claim Your Home

Posted on October 6, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

The Spirit is the one who makes
all things new, and ever
awaits our “Yes” to the 
Dance. 
… come. Claim your home in the
Universal heart.
from Psalm 110, Nan C. Merrill, Psalms for Praying 

Hold…
what happened 
lift it up in your cupped hands,
up out of the urge to deny, react, or change it. 
Lift it right up to your eyes. 
See it and name it. 

Feel…
the shock, anger, and rage,
the embarrassment and shame, 
the disappointment and loss. 

Feel… 
your breath, the Spirit, 
the Comforter, 
coming into and out of your pain, 
inviting you to dance.

Feel Love’s hand on your back,
Love’s strong embrace 
and confident lead.

Know… 
We are human. We make mistakes. 
We are one in God’s Universal heart.
If someone gains by your loss, 
welcome gratitude. 
We have all we need. 

Heal…
Let go of what’s not your fault. 
Let go of what is.
Forgive others. 
Forgive yourself. 

Claim your home in the Universal heart. 

Help me open my heart, so I can hold
All that I need to hold
Help me open my heart, so I can feel
All that I need to feel
Help me open my heart, so I can know
All that I need to know
Help me open my heart, so I can heal
All that I need to heal 
Music and Lyrics by Alexa Sunshine Rose

Credits and References: 
Heart by  g. Used with permission.
Claim Your Home by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
Verbundenheit by Alice Popkorn. Used with permission
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

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Clouds

Posted on September 27, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

I knew what was wrong 
and why I was bothered. 
It made no sense, 
and I told myself that. 

But the sadness didn’t go away 
even when I ate more for supper 
and snacked on one thing after another. 

In the morning, 
I was able to name it. 
I felt left out. 
I didn’t belong. 

I sat with that sad feeling 
and the little girl in me 
that felt it so intensely. 
I came alongside her.
God and I held her hands
and listened
and felt. 

Then I knew why she’d been 
so happy lately. 
I’d had one experience after another 
of being invited in, 
of belonging, 
of being loved. 

But that joy faded 
and this sadness rolled in 
like a thundercloud.
And here we are 
feeling it and holding hands, 
as it rolls away.

The avoidance of our inner demons — our fears of change and death, our rage and jealousy — only imbues these adversaries with greater power. The more we run away, the less chance we have of escaping. We must face suffering, move into it; only then can we become free from it. —Mingyur Rinpoche

Credits and References:
Image “One little bird against furious elements” by Ib Aarmo. Used with permission. 
Clouds by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
Anvil Cloud over Canadian prairies by M. Orchard. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

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