About Esther Hizsa
Esther is a writer, spiritual director, and cofacilitates contemplative retreats and courses. She lives in Vernon, B.C. with her husband, Fred.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. I got off the scale and on it again. The reading was the same. It’s been months since I’ve been to the gym. I knew I’d gained weight, but this was ten more pounds than … Continue reading →
Posted in Humour, Overeating, Stories
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Tagged Chelsea Panos, Garen Meguerian, grace, gym, hope, Jillian Michaels, John 1:16, judgement day, judgment, Scary scales, weight gain, work out
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I was in New Life’s Community Free Store the other day and found a book called The Ice Cream Store. I scooped (!) it up. I loved reading Alligator Pie to my kids when they were young. Here was another book written by … Continue reading →
Posted in Childhood, Mystical, Poetry
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Tagged Alligator Pie, Canadian, centre, David McPhail, Dennis Lee, Finding Grace at the Centre, grace, grandchildren, Kelly Dycavinu, Knit Together, poet, Psalm 139:15, secret place, The Ice Cream Store, Thomas E. Clarke
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All this talk about embracing our weaknesses is fine until someone gets hurt. I’m less inclined to romanticize the notion when I see how my failings have wounded others or how theirs have wounded me. When that happens, I’m tempted … Continue reading →
“Lucky bums!” That’s how theologian Karl Barth described the poor in spirit who inherit God’s kingdom. Ever since someone mentioned that in our contemplative group, we have the urge to call each other “lucky bums.” It reminds us that we … Continue reading →
Posted in Poverty of Spirit, Rob Des Cotes
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Tagged Belonging to Life, Celtic Daily Prayer, communion, contemplative, David Naman, embracing weakness, God's love, healing weakness, Imago Dei Communities, Karl Barth, Laughter, Lord's Supper, lucky bums, Luke 15, Matthew 5:3, Psalm 84, Rob Des Cotes
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Frustrated, stuck, trapped. That’s how I felt. That’s what I recorded in my account of a spiritual direction session. I had directed the session and was discussing it with five other spiritual directors who gather monthly for peer supervision. In supervision, we … Continue reading →
Posted in Childhood, Popular Posts, Poverty of Spirit, Spiritual Direction, Stories, Stories of an Everyday Pilgrim
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Tagged Behind That Locked Door, Childhood, criggchef, feeling trapped, God in the Dark: Theory, innoxiuss, Open Doors, panic, Psalm 139:12, sacred space, spiritual direction, supervision, triggered
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I keep thinking of myself as that leaky bucket. I marvel at the fact that I don’t need to put myself into God’s ocean of love; I’m already there. The first illusion, which I talked about last week, is that … Continue reading →
Posted in Helpful Images, Popular Posts, Poverty of Spirit
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Tagged abide in me, Breath, Darrell Johnson, Father Thomas Keating, God's love, John 15:4, John 17, leaky bucket, one with God, Open Mind Open Heart, Regent College, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver
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I awake with an emotional heaviness at 4 a.m. and remember what caused this feeling. I got hoodwinked by fear in a legitimate disguise: I saw an injustice and pushed the panic button–again. I ended up making a fuss over … Continue reading →
Posted in Helpful Images, Mystical, Popular Posts, Poverty of Spirit, Praying with the Imagination, Rob Des Cotes, Stories
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Tagged Chris Niekel, Donna Geissler, fear, God's love, Imago Dei Communities, immersed in God's love, leaky bucket, ocean of love, Psalm 139:18, Rob Des Cotes, Sandy Beach, spiritual director Burnaby, spiritual director Vancouver, Waves, weakness
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I went for a walk with a friend the other day. After we greeted each other with a hug, she did what she always does: clips a microphone on my collar. This silver bullet-shaped microphone transmits my voice to her … Continue reading →
Finally it’s January. The New Year brings me closer to spring and the possibility of more emotional energy. Dark December is always the hardest month for me. I keep praying that God will increase my desire for him, but other … Continue reading →
Posted in Poverty of Spirit, Prayer, Songs
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Tagged Anne Yungwirth, Cloud of Unknowing, Crohn's, Geometric Shapes, Jeremy Braacx, naked intent, Rick Vugteveen, swallow, View from My Hospital Bed
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The angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her she had found favour with God and was going to give birth to God’s son. Mary wondered how this could possibly be true since she was a virgin but responded with … Continue reading →
An Everyday Pilgrim 