I knew what was wrong 
and why I was bothered. 
It made no sense, 
and I told myself that. 

But the sadness didn’t go away 
even when I ate more for supper 
and snacked on one thing after another. 

In the morning, 
I was able to name it. 
I felt left out. 
I didn’t belong. 

I sat with that sad feeling 
and the little girl in me 
that felt it so intensely. 
I came alongside her.
God and I held her hands
and listened
and felt. 

Then I knew why she’d been 
so happy lately. 
I’d had one experience after another 
of being invited in, 
of belonging, 
of being loved. 

But that joy faded 
and this sadness rolled in 
like a thundercloud.
And here we are 
feeling it and holding hands, 
as it rolls away.

The avoidance of our inner demons — our fears of change and death, our rage and jealousy — only imbues these adversaries with greater power. The more we run away, the less chance we have of escaping. We must face suffering, move into it; only then can we become free from it. —Mingyur Rinpoche

Credits and References:
Image “One little bird against furious elements” by Ib Aarmo. Used with permission. 
Clouds by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
Anvil Cloud over Canadian prairies by M. Orchard. Used with permission.

© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com