A Cool Hand on My Forehead

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

Trust, 
I tell myself
as I cycle in the early morning mist.
I need to trust
I’ll receive 
what I need, 
know what to do. 
I can let go of my life 
and rest in Your love. 

I wish I could
trust,
rest,
stop thinking, thinking,
thinking about
the spinning tops I can’t corral,
wanting them to land,
fearing where they will.

I know, You say,
and my heart softens.

Then, after a long pause,
This is suffering.

I’m suddenly aware
I’ve stopped breathing
and gasp for breath,
take another.

I breathe 
and pedal
Your words
a cool hand
on my forehead,
Your goodness
opening me 
to the goodness of this moment, 
the wonder that goodness is possible 
in a world of spinning uncertainties.

It’s a lie, any talk of God that doesn’t comfort you.
–Meister Eckhart (1260-1328)

Credits and References:
Way Still On by Nirmal Adhikari. Used with permission
A Cool Hand on My Forehead by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
Boasting about Tomorrow by ON BORROWED TIME.Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
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Rabbit Trails

Posted on July 11, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

I follow any lead 
that will take me to the future I desire, 
hop down each trail, 
only to sit back on my haunches 
when it ends with the word: 
trust. 

You know what I need 
and are labouring even now 
to give me, 
to give every living thing
grace upon grace.

We cannot always trace God’s hand, but we can always trust God’s heart.
–Charles Spurgeon

Credits and References:
Rabbit by Karen. Used with permission.
Rabbit Trails by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
Breakfast in the Marigolds by Audrey. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
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Disappointed

Posted on July 7, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

When old fears emerge,
something in me is disappointed
and wishes I’d get over it 
and move on.

She (this part of me) has the wisdom of Jesus,
knows the truth that will set me free, 
but lacks his compassion
and patience.

He finds her pouting,
frustrated.
Nothing gets done around here 
unless I do it, she says. 

She wants a clean house, 
without a speck of fear 
hiding in a corner
or under the rug.

She longs for
peace, peace, peace.

I know you do,
says Jesus, sitting down beside her.
I long for that, too.

He remembers the dark and cloudy day
I was scattered and lost.

He takes my hand 
and puts it on his heart.
I feel the pulse 
of peace, peace, peace 
and see him,
like a shepherd,
bringing
every part of me
home. 

For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will search and find my sheep. I will be like a shepherd looking for his scattered flock. I will find my sheep and rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on that dark and cloudy day…  I myself will tend my sheep and give them a place to lie down in peace, says the Sovereign Lord.  I will search for my lost ones who strayed away, and I will bring them safely home again. –Ezekiel 34:11-12,15-16

Credits and References:
“Lament” by INTVGene. Used with permission.
Disappointed by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
Stained Glass of the Good Shepherd by Alfred Handel. Photo by Tony Hudson. Creative Commons.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

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The Joy You Are

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

Conspicuous by its absence, 
I wondered if my fear of disaster 
had left for good 
but no 
that part of me 
revealed herself 
in an argument. 

Arguments are good for that. 

I had thought, 
since I survived my worst-case scenario, 
her angst would ease off. 

Yes, she says. It helped, 
but it also 
proved my point.
Disaster happened,
and it could happen again
unless you change yourself.

There’s the hook:
the worry that
I have a lurking tendency
which will render me
unlovable and alone
on skid row.

I gently invite fear
to sit with me in the silence
and listen.

What we hear is
a voice, a deep sigh that says,
I can’t.
I can’t change myself.

The Inner Voice of Love adds,
Nor can we change others
or their capacity to bear with our inadequacies.

Transformation is received
not attained,
and My goal isn’t
to make you acceptable
but to lighten the fear
that you’re not
and brighten the joy
you are.

Behold the One beholding you and smiling.
–Anthony de Mello

Credits and References:
Bird by Magnus Bråth. Used with permission.
The Joy You Are by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
Willow Flycatcher 2-20110613 by Kenneth Cole Schneider. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
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Rest in Love

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

Listen! The Lord, the Eternal, the Holy One of Israel says,
“In returning and rest, you will be saved.
In quietness and trust you will find strength.”
–Isaiah 30:15 (The Voice)

The sun is setting in the west 
And the birds begin to sing their rhapsody of rest 
And I rest in love / Rest to give love 
Rest to hold love / Rest to be love  
–Sara Thomsen,  Rhapsody of Rest

Just sit there
and let Me love you, 
You said to me one morning.

As I did, I realized 
You say this
every morning
to everyone. 

I began to hear
Your summons
in every moment.
When I paused to listen,
I rested there
in Your beauty.  

Your kingdom came,
Your will was done.

When we rest in love,
we join You in
loving
and saving
the world.

Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.
–Matthew 11:28 (NRSVUE)

Credits and References:
Landkaartje by  Sylvia Sassen. Used with permission.
Rest in Love by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
Amelia Resting by Donnie Ray Jones. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
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Always Coming to Us in Love

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

Our basic stance in life and toward God is one of receptivity rather than achievement. This is the heart of the contemplative way: receptivity to God who is always coming to us in love.—SoulStream Community, Values

I consider how God works and labours for me in all things created on the face of the earth… Ignatius of Loyola, Contemplation on Divine Love, The Spiritual Exercises

What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. –Luke 12:29 (The Message)

You are always
coming to us in love.

I was about to jump ahead,
and my friend said, 
“Let’s sit with this a while,”
and I felt my body relax.

On a walk, 
I noticed
my breath
emptying and receiving,
emptying and receiving.

I was struggling with
something I could not change,
then imagined You,
unperturbed,
working for me.

More often I find myself
enjoying the task
I’m doing 
instead of
rushing to get it done.

On a long bicycle ride,
in the glory
of wide open spaces,
in the company
of hills, fields, trees,
poppies, marmots,
horses, cattle and deer,
a thought came to me–
wisdom and a way forward.

Nothing we do
or don’t do
stops you.

You are always 
coming to us,
freeing us to
receive love,
give love,
hold love,
and be love.

The sun is shining in the south
And I breathe you in, and I breathe you out
And I breathe in love / Breathe out to give love
Breathe in to hold love / Breathe out to be love
—Sara Thomsen, Rhapsody of Rest

* * *

Are you longing for deeper connection, greater peace, and a more authentic way of living? Living from the Heart is SoulStream’s nine-month spiritual formation course, designed to help you grow in intimacy with God, yourself, and others. Through contemplative practices, personal transformation, and authentic community, you’ll discover a life centered in the heart of God.
Apply by July 18, 2025 for the in-person cohort.
Apply by August 30 for the online cohort (the one I will be co-facilitating this year).

Credits and References:
“Kodiak and the butterfly” by doug ellis. Used with permission. 
Always Coming to Us in Love by Esther Hizsa, 2025
Park bench by steve p2008 Used with permission
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

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This Beautiful Now

Posted on June 6, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

In returning and rest, you will be saved.
In quietness and trust you will find strength. 
–Isaiah 30:15 (The Voice)

I forget
it takes time 
to settle my nervous system, 
takes intention 
to notice 
my feet
aren’t touching the ground. 

All the spaciousness 
I long for 
is right here 
in this breath. 
Everything I need 
has already been given. 

I can come home 
to myself, 
to You, 
to this moment 
now,
in this
beautiful
now.  

The morning glories and the sunflowers turn naturally toward the light, but we have to be taught, it seems. –Richard Rohr

Credits and References:
White morning glory by John Tann. Used with permission. 
This Breath by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
Sunflowers by Stephen Ransom. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
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The Conversion of Rosie: Part Two

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

 As evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.” So they took Jesus in the boat and started out, leaving the crowds behind (although other boats followed). But soon a fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the boat, and it began to fill with water. Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?” When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Silence! Be still!” Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm. —Mark 4:35-39 (NIV)

While we were camping,  
a stranger made a mistake,  
and blamed me  
for her predicament.  

She was too angry to be reasoned with, 
and I knew I wasn’t responsible  
for her disappointment. 
Yet, I was caught in a stormy loop
of justifying and second-guessing my decision 
not to rescue her.  

It didn’t subside 
until I woke Christ,
sleeping in the tent.
When he saw the storm,
he looked at me and said,
“Well, that was unpleasant.”

The wind stopped,
and there was a great calm.

But the storm resumed
the next morning
as I rode from Oliver to Summerland.
This time, Christ was asleep
on the back of my bike.
So I awakened him with a song,  

Make me an instrument
Born of your peace
As I let go
As I release…

I sang it again and again as I rode,
and Christ reminded me 
that whatever decision I made,
he would be with me.
Then, he shifted my focus
from moralizing
to noticing
how much power this had over me
and feeling
the storm gently subside. 

And it did.

I cycled on in peace
with rocky bluffs on my left,
Okanagan Lake on my right,
and a tailwind behind
until I got a flat.

Then, I awakened Christ 
on my cell phone,
and Fred picked me up,
spotting my red jersey
a mile away.

Make me an instrument
Born of thy peace
As I let go
As I release
Make me an instrument
Humble and free
As I awaken the living Christ in me
–Kurt Van Sickle

Notes, Credits and References:
You can find The Conversion of Rosie: Part One on An Everyday Pilgrim, May 10, 2025.
Jesus Calms the Storm, photo by Jim Forest, iconographer: Jack Pachuta. Used with permission.
The Conversion of Rosie: Part Two by Esther Hizsa, 2025
Okanagan Lake, Kickininee Provincial Park, Summerland, BC., by GoToVan Used with permission. 
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com

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The Path of Wholeness

Posted on May 25, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

You make me whole again,
steering me off worn, hard paths.
–Psalm 23:3 (The Voice, adapted)

A part of me gets pretty loud
when space isn’t given to others,
equality isn’t honoured,
feelings are dismissed,
or fear is preached.

I squirm in my seat,
anger prickling.
I want to stand up
and set things right.

“Of course you do,”
I hear You say,
meeting me on
that worn, hard path
of criticism and blame.

You take my hand in yours.
We sit awhile
and remember
the times I was dishonoured
and dismissed.
You know how the path became hard,
and why I travelled this way.

“Of course you did,”
You say.

Then, You show me another path
that has enough grace to let go,
enough compassion to see,
enough patience to wait,
enough faith
that You can be trusted
to reveal and restore

and if and when I can help,
I will know 
what to do
and what to say
out of wholeness.

You lead me in the path of goodness
to follow Love’s way.
–Psalm 23:3
Nan C. Merrill, Psalms for Praying: An Invitation to Wholeness

Credits and References:
“Lady walking” by Steve. Used with permission.
The Path of Wholeness by Esther Hizsa, 2025.
“Two paths diverged in a green wood…” by Dan Irizarry. Used with permission.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
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A Long, Loving Look

Posted on May 17, 2025 by Esther Hizsa

 Jesus spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him and asked, “Do you see anything?” He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.” Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.
–Mark 8-22-25 (NIV)

Some things I don’t want to see.
I cover my eyes and hope
when I open them again,
the internet will be working,
I won’t get my days mixed up,
and I’ll remember to do
both things on my list.

Then I noisily crash into reality
and panic,
losing all rational thought
which only makes things worse.

It’s embarrassing,
disruptive,
and humbling.

But as I take a long, loving look at the real,
I notice
the world didn’t come to an end,
my friends didn’t desert me,
and I was able to carry on.

Like the blind man Jesus healed,
at first, I only see trees walking around
bashing into things.
Then, I see Jesus
and his beautiful eyes
in the faces of my friends
taking a long, loving look
at me.

Take a long loving look at the real.
–Walter Burghardt, SJ

Credits and References:
“Autumn” by Sylvia Sassen. Used with permission.
A Long, Loving Look by Esther Hizsa, 2025
“Ginko Joy” by Sylvia Sassen. Used with permission.
More about taking a long, loving look go to A Long, Loving Look at the Real by Vanita Hampton Wright, Ignatian Spirituality.
© Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim, 2025.
The unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without permission from Esther Hizsa is prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used provided there is a link to the original content and credit is given as follows: © Esther Hizsa, An Everyday Pilgrim 2013-2025.  http://www.estherhizsa.com
Posted in ADHD, Aging, community, compassion, Humour, Poetry, Poverty of Spirit, Praying with the Imagination, Reflections, Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments